ASL's Lisa Timmons Sells Her Soul To Skyy Vodka

...and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

When Skyy Vodka representatives first contacted me via e-mail to see if I wouldn't be interested in coming along on their "Jet Set Junket," which included a trip on a luxury jet from NYC to Miami to Vail to Vegas to L.A. with parties all along the way (did I mention all-expenses paid?), I thought that maybe all of those Reader's Digest sweepstakes cards I'd religiously filled out and mailed as a child had finally paid off--either that, or it was some kind of a sick joke. It honestly wasn't until my JetBlue ticket from L.A. to NYC was successfully scanned by the ticket-counter operator, that I finally believed that this amazing trip was actually going to happen--and that I was effectively becoming the luckiest bitch on the planet.

I figured things were off to a good start when I noticed (by the way, very adorable in real life--even while traveling, damn her) one of my favorite faces of Max Factor make-up, Miss Carmen Electra, on my flight from L.A. to NYC. I'm not superstitious, but as a blogger, I take a celebrity sighting at the beginning of a trip to be as good luck as getting pooped on by a passing pigeon.

After a good night's sleep at the Hotel Doubletree in Times Square, I woke up, got ready and took a cab to the Royalton around the corner where I was to meet the other passengers, twelve of whom had successfully bid on an auction to win their seats on this whirlwind luxury cruise in the Skyy (ha...get it?). I arrived and was greeted by our personal paparazzo, Gary Copeland and videographer, Greg Mathews. I can't remember exactly when, but the three of us started referring to ourselves as "Team Media," and I'd be lying if I said I didn't REALLY want to have t-shirts made with that written on the front.

Soon, the guests started arriving. A montage of party scenes from various movies was playing on a plasma screen, at which time a scene from Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle appeared. And I recognized the scene as one in which I played as an extra back when I first moved to L.A. and was broke, unemployed and I gotta tell you guys, it's much nicer to be watching that shit on a plasma screen TV from a swanky hotel penthouse, than it is to be making minimum wage to be in it.

We munched on breakfast goodies. I got caffeinated, preparing for the marathon partying I knew awaited me, and then--after everyone arrived--we gathered into a circle for our maiden toast, which was the "welcome cocktail," the Skyy Ultimate Martini. After that, we got ourselves packed into the three limos that awaited us, to head out for our helicopter trip over the city.

At the helipad, we were treated to a safety video in which we were instructed how to fasten our safety belts, as well as how to escape from the various models of available helicopters, in which we might be placed. I was reminded of a "When Animals Attack" documentary special I had watched a few years prior.

The special's main purpose was to relate stories of animal attacks, as well as instruct the viewer how to evade such attacks. For example, (and I can't remember which is which) when faced with an angry North American Black Bear, one is either supposed to stand one's ground, or curl into an unmoving ball. And an attack from a slightly different version of this species from a slightly different geographical region is avoided by utilizing the opposite maneuver. The only effect I predicted this would have on my reaction during a possible encounter with an enraged bear, would be to yell at said bear, "What kind of bear are you?" I imagined that in the case of my needing to escape from the helicopter, I would end up drowning to death, while screaming in futility at our sinking vessel, "What the hell kind of helicopter are you?"

Luckily, though, I didn't need to put this knowledge to the test and our 17-minute trip above NYC was full of photo opportunities and good times. Other than what felt like a drastic drop when we returned to the helipad to land, it wasn't too scary.

Then, it we packed back into the limos to head to prom. Just kidding, but that's what it felt like. Arriving in Newark, we all piled into the luxury jet that would be our home for the next three days and my mind was effectively blown. A 737 outfitted to accommodate 18 people, the plane is the most comfortable thing I've ever been transported in since I've left my mother's uterus. There were even customized blue and grey M&M's with "Skyy Vodka" printed on them, awaiting us to nibble on. Then dinner was served as we raised our martini glasses filled with the Skyy 747 Cocktail and toasted our departure from NYC for Miami.

I thought to myself, as I strapped on my seatbelt for take-off, "A bitch could get used to living like this."

Major shout-out's go to Skyy Vodka, of course, as well as Source Marketing, The Rose Group and Kino Fist Pictures.

Check out tomorrow's post, when Lisa continues her journey with the Jet-setters to Miami.

Many more photos from the NYC jaunt after the jump.