Nevermind that I skipped the premiere of Lifetime’s Liz & Dick on Sunday in favor of Friends re-runs. My mother made me sit and watch an encore showing instead of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills last night, and now I can’t stop thinking of how much I want to raid the costume department closet.
Damn you, Lifetime!
These are the points I took away from Lindsay Lohan‘s return to our television sets (Labor Pains, anyone?)
1) Lohan can’t throw a vodka bottle or plate to save her life, and you’d think she’d have practice in this art.
2) The girl can cry. Or are those red eyes just from a perpetual hangover?
4) “I thought she was fine,” my mom said of Lohan before pointing out that it was a very shallow movie. ”What do you expect? Not much to work with, there.”
5) If I hear one more person comment on how talented Lohan is as an actress, I will force them to watch this movie over and over and over again, which is what Lifetime plans to do for the next month and a half.
Closing note: What happened to the Lifetime movies of yore, like The Babysitter’s Seduction, Perfect Body and She Woke Up Pregnant?
Also, I miss the old Lifetime branding. It was more dramatic and reminded me of Unsolved Mysteries.