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Not to betray my queer brethren, but my money’s on Fitty. In fact, I fear for Lance’s bone structure. Ok, they’re not really going to fight. They just had books come out at the same time on Tuesday night and did some play-trash talking. Seriously, I’d like to see them fight, though. Again, not to turn my back on my people, but all I can imagine is 50 coming after Lance while he screams and runs for the knife drawer in the kitchen. Lance Bass’ book “Out of Sync” and 50 Cent’s coffe-table book “50×50″ are stepping in the ring.

“He doesn’t stand a chance,” Senor Cent told me at the launch of his coffee-table tome, “50 x 50.”

“With me, everything’s a competition, so I bet you the end of next week, I’ll be moving more copies than him,” Fitty said over dinner at Philippe. “This is the same competition – this is Kanye West and 50 Cent all over again!”

Twenty minutes later, at Azza, Bass was happy to hit back.

“50′s going down, that’s all I have to say,” he said while promoting his memoir, “Out of Sync.”

“50, I don’t want to playa-hate, but there’s a lot that my book has” that his doesn’t.

Lance met his “space training” (remember that attempt to draw attention away from the gay?) and his “relationships with the guys”. Which I think he means the guys in N*Sync. I think. Does he mean guys in general? True. 50 Cent’s been to prison but he’s made it pretty clear in the past he doesn’t swing that way and doesn’t feel like anybody else should. So Lance has that on him. Seriously, though, if Lance EVEN has a Joey Fatone “bro-job” story – he’d goddamn better tell it or I’m citing the Freedom of Information act. I want size, width, girth, circumference, audio and video. In a report. In a binder. With a multimedia laser show accompanying it.

Photos: Getty Images/Bauer-Griffin Online