The older I get, the less my weight bothers me. My husband married me despite the size of my butt. I would like to lose because my knees are going south & my mother died of a massive heart attack at 39. I adore my husband & would like to stick around to be with him. Otherwise, I agree with every last word Joy Nash said.

I think there is a huge cultural slip-up in the way that we treat obesity.

For instance, I smoke. It’s not healthy or attractive, but hey, there you go. Sometimes I go outside for a cigarette and somebody will look at me and tell me how I should really stop, that it’s disgusting, and that my smoking is going to kill me. And hey, they have a decent point.

So why would it be any different for somebody to talk to an obese person leaving, say, a fast-food restaurant, and tell them that their lifestyle is unhealthy? That it’s not healthy or attractive? How their obesity is most likely going to end their life prematurely?

In that case, I would be the asshole for being “mean” to a fat person, when in fact everything I would have said would be true and, from a certain perspective, helping them. I wouldn’t do it, just because I *hate* it when people bother me about my smoking, and I’m sure fat people *hate* it when they’re bugged about their weight. But the double standard remains.

i remember as a teen, i would hear the phrase, “she’s so nice, she’s so skinny”. i hated when i would heard this and i heard it all the time. please explain the relationship? (btw– i was a skinny teen). in my late-20′s i gained a TON of weight, my highest being 200lbs (i’m 5’4″). i have lost 75lbs… twice. people definitely treat you differently. currently i am very yoga fit, play soccer weekly, walk a couple miles a day, haven’t been to a macdonalds in over 25years, love to cook nutritious meals at home… yet, i am still hovering around 160 and wear a size 10-12… and i feel like a failure because a have a pooch tummy and celluilite on my legs :(

“So why would it be any different for somebody to talk to an obese person leaving, say, a fast-food restaurant, and tell them that their lifestyle is unhealthy?”

Because for most people fat is not a lifestyle. Its not an option they chose like smoking, and leaving a fast food restaurant doesn’t mean you’ve gone in and gotten the fattiest thing on the menu. Its a FAST food restaurant, not a FAT food restaurant. Sometimes fat people need fast food too.

I agree with both of you. It’s a situation where it is a person’s choice to smoke or not to smoke, to be “fat” or not to be “fat.” So why do we come down so hard on other people’s choices about lifestyle?

I’m thin and have always struggled with keeping myself at a healthy weight. I know, I know, here’s where most people say, “oh shut up, what the hell do you have to worry about?!” Well, in actuality, plenty. Just because I’m thin doesn’t mean I don’t have problems with my weight or with my body image. Oh, and I also get insulted. A lot. “Skinny Minnie… Skinny bitch… Oh, I hate you, you’re so skinny… Are you anorexic or something?” Yeah, that’s fun.

Do people ask why I’m thin before automatically hating me or calling me anorexic or bulemic? Hells no. Do they want to hear about the debilitating TMJ issues I had in college that had me drop nearly 20 lbs? Or my migraines that have me curled up in a little ball for days on end, or barfing and/or nauseous, on a monthly basis? Or my mother who nags on me about my weight constantly, and who made fun of the size of my ass when I was a so-called healthy weight?

I can tell you first-hand, it’s no fun to not feel like a “real woman” because I don’t have the curves that a lot of other women do. I’m all for other women embracing their curves, but do NOT make me feel like I’m not a woman because of my “boyish” shape. It’s no fun to go clothes shopping because I can’t find anything that fits me well, especially since, according to the clothing makers, I am apparently the only thin woman on the planet who still has an ass – which feeds into all sorts of body dismorphic issues, because even though I’m skinny, I’m not skinny enough to fit my “fat ass” in clothes that are in my size range.

GAH! I wish I had the answers, but I don’t. Other than a broad wish for people to be less judgmental of others & to think before they speak, and to look within for the reason they’re lashing out at other people to make themselves feel better.

Isn’t the bottom line here that as long as parents teach their children to discriminate toward anyone who looks different then they do, things are not going to change? Obesity, skin color, religion, mental illness, physical disabilities, take your pick; until people accept people for what is inside the song remains the same…the majority of Americans just don’t embrace diversity.

skrpune,

Arden b. makes good skinny-with-an-ass size 0 and 2.

I think it was a great piece. Everyone comes in different shapes and sizes. We shouldn’t judge others by their appearances. Great job!

I think it was a great piece. Everyone comes in different shapes and sizes. We shouldn’t judge others by their appearances. Great job!

I think it was a great piece. Everyone comes in different shapes and sizes. We shouldn’t judge others by their appearances. Great job!

I like the message: it seems noble. Yet she is flawed to tell people not to buy clothes that they used to fit into, just because they became bigger. Its not wrong to keep them as an incentive. And she is right, people shouldnt stop moving just because they have added weight. The simple key is to eat right, eat the right portions (yes there is something called over-eating) and EXERCISE.
Maybe she should have made this message abit more positive and true with the line that you can be heavy but healthier than one who weighs less than you.

Great piece!! She’s got an awesome sense of humor!
Whether a person is fat or skinny, whatever happened to just plain common courtesy? I would never dream of going up to a person who smokes and telling them off! Or telling a fat person to go on a diet! What gives me the right to hurt someone and more importantly, it is just plain none of my business to tell anyone how to live their life!

i lost 60 pounds and kept it off for 12 years… (size 6!)i think its a bunch of bullshit. being “big” isn’t healthy or good looking. face it.

I have a very difficult time believing that a size 18 would be considered healthy. I have friends who do exercise and eat well but who will never be thin – genetically, a larger frame is the body type they’ve been dealt. They’ll always be on the larger side of what society considers thin – but a size 18 they are not.

she’s aweome, go joy nash! i am a size 10 and i love me!

I do like the overall message about liking yourself no matter what you weight. But I feel she is wrong about some things. 224 is not a healthy weight, she is obviously eating more than her body requires. As she gets older the odds are very high that her weight will increase making her even less active than she is now and putting her at risk of many aliments or death.

I am not saying she needs to be 120 but would it be so bad if she got down to the 150 area to better her life. Everything in life is better with a healthy heart with greater stamina and endurance. Playing with your kids/teens, cleaning your house, sex, etc.

This woman is beautiful, fun, witty, and obviously intelligent. Brava to her, over and over again.

I, too, have struggled with my weight my entire life. I am tall (5’9″), and of medium bone structure, with a metabolism that can only be described as tortoise-like. This woman is absolutely right. You would not believe the comments people feel okay with saying to someone who is overweight, let alone sizably overweight, or as she says, even fat. You would not believe how many stores there are that don’t sell clothes for big women, let alone big and tall women.

I wasted too many years on worrying about what people were thinking of me, or wishing I could magically erase the fat. Two years ago I finally got serious. I reclaimed my health. I taught myself all about good nutrition and the evils of processed foods. I retrained my tastebuds. I began walking. And in one year and two months, I had lost 100 pounds the so-called “hard way.” No diet pills, no magical formulas, no secret surgeries. Just me and my walking shoes. I am still not skinny and I never will be, but at 41 I am told I am one of the coolest moms around. I have a great sense of humor, and I smile and tease. A lot. And somehow having my health and my smile back seems a whole lot more important than what anyone else might think of me for showing my bare arms and legs that will never be model thin and shapely.

To all the haters who can only see a person’s “cankles”, I say… PPPPlllhlglglgghgggggppppppH! There’s always your next life to make up for the pain and hate you are spreading in this one. I guess.

Being a size 18 is not ideal, but it’s not going to kill you. If she eats healthy and exercises and is a size 18, she’ll probably be healthier than…ummmm…Nicole Richie who is supposedly society’s ideal of “skinny”.

As for comparing being fat to smoking, I totally agree. Why is it ok to tell someone that smoking is killing them but not that being overweight is killing them. Here’s the thing: It is NEVER right to tell someone what they should or shouldn’t do with their own body. Whether smoking, over-eating, over-exercising, drinking excessively, or anything else, it is ultimately an individual decision. Close friends, family members, and doctors qare allowed to mention that they are concerned about you. Complete strangers need to just keep their mouths shut and live their own lives.

And, sorry I can’t remember your name but the next time somebody calls you a skinny bitch, it is a compliment. Basically, it means “What have you done to deserve to be thin that I haven’t done?” And please don’t cry about finding clothes in your size. At least you don’t have to pay extra for something in your size. (Sizes 0-12: $24.00, sizes 12+ $35…wtf is that????)

I LOVED this piece, and I think she’s amazing. I was also alarmed that she kept calling herself “fat”–I think she looks great! I too have been very thin and very chunky–but now that I’m 27, I’m somewhere in the middle, and I’m ok with that. I eat right, exercise 6 days a week, walk and rollerblade, and occasionally drink beer and eat ice cream.

A new study has come out that says a great deal of a person’s weight is actually genetic, so no matter how hard some people try, they will never be a size 4, or even a size 10.

that was great!! my daughter all the time tells me she thinks shes fat and she is a teenager. our country’s focus on image is very eskewed. you see angelina jolie being lauded as the most beautiful woman in the world. there are actually people out there in the world who find her unattractive. its all about beauty in the eye of the beholder.
i feel that the most important thing is to be comfortable in the skin your in. clothing size is just a number…like age. you CAN wear a size 20 and look fab. I do!!!!

Sam, I’m not *crying* about it, I’m stating a fact. I have a helluva time finding clothes, just like this video’s heroine but just on the opposite end of the spectrum, except I get much less sympathy for it. There’s Lane Bryant for bigger gals, but there’s no “I’m thin but I have an ass and really long legs” store. I’m almost 32 – do you know what it’s like to try and find age-appropriate clothing in my size that’s NOT from the junior’s department?! I’ve had to resort to pouring through rack upon rack upon rack at thrift shops, which have the widest & most eclectic selection of fits around (and thankfully at the best prices to boot), looking for literally hours on end to perhaps find one pair of pants that sorta fits my ass and might be long enough to not qualify as capris. I may not have to pay more for my smaller size clothes, but I do have to spend a lot more of my time hunting them down.

And while I understand that some people may playfully throw around the term “skinny bitch” as a so-called compliment, I can say that I’ve never taken it as one and I don’t think I ever will. It’s most often stated with ill-will and always with a lack of understanding for the person on the receiving end.

Sue, I agree with you – whatever happened to common courtesy?? The world would be a much happier place if we’d all just insert that brain-to-mouth filter before speaking…

I thought the piece was great, albeit a little preachy. It’s great that she’s encouraging a healthy self-image…and quite honestly, her self-confidence is refreshing and makes her seem 10x more attractive than a grumpy, purposely starving girl.

On the other hand, I too agree that her weight really could be unhealthy. I understand slow metabolism and having a larger frame. I’m 5’8″ and have hovered around 160 lbs. and a size 10 for years. But the times that I’ve yo-yo’d up (for example, right now I’m 174…eek!), it’s really only been because I hadn’t exercised at all and actually made the extra effort to constantly eat really bad food. And the only reason it’s “okay” (even though, in terms of health, it definitely isn’t) is because I have found ways to justify my actions (i.e. I’m depressed/stressed/lazy because of work/school/etc). Over the last two months, I’ve knowingly gained 10 lbs. Why? I just graduated from college and spent the last year killing myself over my senior thesis. Towards the end, it got painfully intense and to “reward” myself for working so hard, I began eating fast food literally every day. Wendy’s, Burger King and McDonald’s are my best friends. I know exactly what I’m doing and why it’s happened. Now I face the reality of going back and fixing it…not because I necessarily want to be skinny on a superficial level (although it’d be nice to fit into my size 9 skinny jeans again), but because the truth is that these foods and this lifestyle drain your energy and make you FEEL like a potato. The fact is that 224, and maybe 174, really aren’t HEALTHY weights. But even so, someone with bad health doesn’t deserve to be respected any less.

And one more comment on the smoking parallel…

I know there are people out there who will walk up to a smoker and tell them it’s unhealthy and that they should stop…and yes, being fat and smoking are both unhealthy and maybe should warrant the same disgusted reaction from a stranger on the street.

But in NO way should it ever be culturally acceptable to walk up to a fat person OR to walk up to a smoker and tell them that what they’re doing is wrong. Health is a personal issue that should only be discussed between you and your doctor. It’s nobody’s fucking business how fat I am or how many cigarettes I’ve had.

Just like I said in my previous comment, I KNOW what I’m doing when I’m fat. I also KNOW what I’m doing when I smoke. It’s MY decision and goddamn right. End of discussion.

She’s beautiful.

You are sooooo right. It’s not about our weight, it’s about being healthy and happy – regardless of size. I’m so glad Joy made that video. It’s got people talking and hopefully rethinking their views about size. By the way… I’ve met Joy in person. She’s beautiful inside and out. She is one of the models for our company (Jahqoi) and we’re blessed to be working with her.

Being proud of your body can actually motivate you to treat your body better. Being ashamed and afraid of other people’s comments is a downer.