- The best thing about Jarhead would have to be Jake Gyllenhaal with a Santa cap on his penis.
- An in depth analysis of the Paris Hilton car crash.
- Tara Reid turned 30, and we forgot.
- Is it Janet Jackson or Oprah Winfrey. It’s Janet.
- Apparently Anna Kournikova isn’t a size queen.
- Heidi Klum might be an “up the butt” girl.
- The gays rejoice when Colin Farrell kisses a man.
- The world cringes as Tom and Katie kiss again in public.
- It’s finally revealed that Laura Bush is actually a zombie.
- Bill O’Reily gives the okay to al-Qaida to destroy San Francisco. The world isn’t surprised that Bill O’Reilly is a secret member of al-Quaida.
- What happens when Sienna Miller chases the paparazzo. Not much.
- Kate Moss gets confused.
- There’s nothing like getting a Brad Pitt doll for Christmas.
- Keanu Reeves does research for his role in the sequel to “Riding the Bus with My Sister.”
- Eddie Murphy was spotted with Johnny Gill, so they must be lovers.
- Kathy Hilton spreads them on Ebay.
- Pete Doherty does not make for an attractive drag queen.
A Week In Socialite’s Life: Jake Gyllenhaal Shakes His Thing
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