(WENN)

Seriously, she screwed him good. Once you get painted with that brush, you get the fisheye whenever you head into the washroom at work. People assume you’re in there interfering with yourself even when you’re just there for a wiz. Not that I know from experience or anything. For those of you not in the know, Anne Heche filed court papers against her soon-to-ex-husband charging that he was home whacking off all the live long day. The husband, Coley Laffoon (sweet name), is denying it.

One of the nastiest custody battles got even crazier today, as Coley Laffoon filed a response to Anne’s allegations of porn-addiction and compulsive masturbation problems. In the documents, Laffoon admits that he occasionally checked out a few XXX features, but only “when we were together.”

Laffoon also claims that Heche publicized her own “mental instability” in her autobiography titled, “Call Me Crazy.” Laffoon claims that in the book, Heche “describes how she went to Fresno by herself after taking one pill of ecstasy, because she received a message from God that a spaceship was going to be meeting her there and taking her away.”

God, that’s a hot story. What’s worse? Wandering around high and waiting for the Greys to come pick you up, or leaving the kid with the nanny so you can shellack the shillelagh? That kid should run screaming.