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Her hills…I mean, THE Hills (silly mistake) have finally earned Audrina Patridge a spotlight of her own.  The bosomy reality star is following in Whitney Port‘s shoes with a spin-off similar to The City. Only, instead of Runway Fashion and Manhattan Elitism, the drama will center around Eventful Nights at The Club and Tatted-up Boyfriends with A John Mayer Complex.  Or, as producer Mark Burnett put it, “the next stage of her life and career.” 

Audrina and fellow departee Lauren Conrad
will follow the show through it’s fifth season, but the reality gods
aren’t sure what to do after losing half it’s original cast.  Either The Hills will die (one can only hope) or your worst nightmare will come true: a sixth season entirely about Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt.  As if watching the pair fake-fight and fake-kiss for 5 of the 20-minute episodes wasn’t enough torture already. 

Should
this, the unthinkable, happen (as I cringe), I call on you, fellow
Americans, to boycott the show until it goes under.  Assuming you
haven’t already thrown your television out the window. 

Gallery Info: Audrina Patridge at the I, Love You Man premiere