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Affleck is finally talking about his relief in narrowly avoiding becoming the trophy husband to Jenny from the Block. They called it off in aught four; just a couple of months after their wedding was cancelled.
According to Starpulse.com, Affleck says:
“I should never have got engaged and never gone down that route.”
“I had to smile for the cameras, but I was really in turmoil. I was no longer in control of my life and I didn’t know which way to turn. I felt like a hamster in a cage. The faster my legs went, the less distance I seemed to travel.”
Seriously, Jenny Garner seems like she’s not a bad chick in comparison to that horrible woman who insists that every room she enter be white and requires a certain scent of candle to cover up the stench of failure wherever she goes. Affleck might be the very definition of himbo, but he was smart enough to get while the gettin’ was good. Did you see what Ms. Lopez ended up with? A megalomaniacal anorexic with sinkhole eyes. I would worry about her if I didn’t get the impression that she was kind of an asshole. Though the opening horn part to “Get Right” makes me shake my fat Irish ass, I have to admit. But I’m gay, and we’re programmed to dance. The beeping from my microwave has been known to make me bob my head sometimes.
In other news, Ben Affleck is apparently a hamster.
Written by J. Harvey
Jinxy McDeath | November 15, 2006 at 5:44 pm
“…to that horrible woman who insists that every room she enter be white and requires a certain scent of candle to cover up the stench of failure wherever she goes. Affleck might be the very definition of himbo, but he was smart enough to get while the gettin’ was good. Did you see what Ms. Lopez ended up with? A megalomaniacal anorexic with sinkhole eyes.”
I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING! FABULOUSNESS.
missy | November 16, 2006 at 12:16 am
oh j harvey, you are the best thing about this website
ariana | November 16, 2006 at 1:36 am
Good move Benny. That crazy bitch was sucking you dry. No ass is worth it.
What was SO special about this stingy ass ho aneeway? I never understood. Your giant culo ain’t that nice neither so shut up already.
dorothea | November 16, 2006 at 2:16 am
Ben is totally uncool for saying these things especially considering how gracious Jen has been about him tho he broke her heart. There’s a reason why Gwyneth called him a knucklehead—-he is one. Jen 2 should watch her back, the man likes women way too much (anyone see him drunk and pawing at that cute little French Canadian chickie interviewer a couple years back? Very telling) Jen 2 may be a nice girl but she’s way too dull for the likes of Ben and it won’t be long before he’s up to no good—if he ain’t already!
2 Old 4 This | November 16, 2006 at 10:34 am
J. Harvey you never disappoint!
Love your hair – hope you win