Breaking News: Paris Hilton Going Back to Jail, Someone Finally Had A Lick Of Sense In Their Head

June 8th, 2007 // 56 Comments

(Splash)

Paris is going back to jail . Good.

Paris Hilton was just ordered back to jail in Lynwood to serve out the remainder of her sentence! She’ll get credit for 5 days already served.

Hilton left the courtoom in tears, screaming, “Mom, Mom, Mom.”

One witness described the scene as: Paris was “physically escorted” out of the courtroom by a female deputy.

Jesus, you’d think this slut was boarding a cattle car to Dachau. Things were crazy at the house when she was dragged away.

According to Paris’ Moms, “it’s in God’s hands now.” I’m sorry, is she a f*cking astronaut? Is this the Apollo mission? Or is this a spoiled little heiress who might have to serve the correct amount of time due to someone realizing a HUGE mistake was made? I’m gonna go with the latter because she doesn’t look like Tom Hanks to me. Anyway, chaos reigned at the Hilton house and her mom acted like it was D-Day or something. Jesus, get a frame of reference you rich twat.

As a swarm of media watched, Hilton parted ways with her parents, Rick and Kathy Hilton, and her mother told reporters: “It is what it is and it’s in God’s hands now.”

She added: “It’s out of our hands. There’s nothing we can do.”

Asked how her daughter is faring, Kathy said earlier, “She’s doing the best she can.”

Paris Hilton was seen being handcuffed before getting into a police cruiser and was photographed crying in the backseat as she headed to court.

As the gates of the driveway opened, the scene was pandemonium, with the officers on their bullhorns and Hilton’s fans screaming.

I hope to God that the chick who released doves at the Michael Jackson verdict rolled up with some more birds. That was so hot. She should be at every gathering of loonies.

By J. Harvey

  1. Kare Bear

    Well T-bone you & I share many similar opinions and pretty much our perspectives about numerous issues are parallel and once again I have to say I share the same feeling about Rev. Al! He is just as much of a media whore as most of these little celebs.

    He has done a great job in the case though, it’s not about race it’s about status!

  2. green cardigan

    Now in her time of need, are none of her friends, or her sister for that matter, saying anything publically in her defense?

    Rats leaving a sinking ship.

  3. Joya

    Green Cardigan:

    Either that or they think like the rest of society… you do the crime, you do the time.

  4. green cardigan

    no, the crew she hangs with are cut from the same cloth …’do the crime, get Mommy and Daddy to pay for the best lawyers’ .

    They’re probably no speaking to her because the weekend jailhouse party was cancelled at sucj short notice.

    I have to stop posting on this now, and go back to reality!

    Enjoy your liberty this weekend folks!

  5. stolidog

    Paris, Martha; Martha, Paris.

    who did it better?

    Enough said, show a little dignity bitch.

  6. karamel

    Well, truly Al Sharpton may be an undisputed camera chaser, but the man did his time campaigning for civil rights in this country, so on that alone and the fact that despite his current assery he has championed a few righteous causes, I’ll give him a pass for speaking for those out here who have not been the beneficiaries of wealth and privilege and have been forced to suffer the consequences of our actions. Like other posters have said, I haven’t been to jail — despite having been a licensed driver for about 17 years…because I cannot afford (time or money) to break the law.

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