BREAKING NEWS: R. Kelly Is A Free Man

June 13th, 2008 // 6 Comments

What the -? Golden shower aficionado R. Kelly has been found not guilty and accquitted of 14 counts of child pornography. Wait, wasn’t there a tape? With piss spraying around as if flung from a lawn sprinkler? On a young girl?

Kelly was charged six years ago after a tape of him having sex with a 13-year-old and doing other fairly pervy things was unearthed.

Both Kelly and the victim in question have said that it isn’t them on the tape. Well, if she says it’s not her then I guess they didn’t have much of a case.

Someone check, did she just get a new house out of nowhere or something similar?

Click any photo to view the R. Kelly gallery.


What the -? Golden shower aficionado R. Kelly has been found not guilty
and accquitted of 14 counts of child pornography. Wait, wasn’t there a
tape? With piss spraying around as if flung from a lawn sprinkler? On a
young girl?

Kelly was charged six years ago after a tape of him having sex with a
13-year-old and doing other fairly pervy things was unearthed.

Both Kelly and the victim in question have said that it isn’t them on
the tape. Well, if she says it’s not her then I guess they didn’t have
much of a case.

Someone check, did she just get a new house out of nowhere or something similar?

By J. Harvey

  1. peachpie

    good example…. if you’re accused of some horribly disgusting crime, delay. delay. delay. and then delay another 5 years. everyone must have ‘forgotten’ what happened and who was there and whose pee was whose. go figure.

  2. DruNken LauRen

    peachpie: lol, who’s pee on whose…. LMAO

  3. peachpie

    eh. screw the grammar. tim russert died and i am heartbroken. i’m headed towards the fetal position…

  4. Heidi B.

    What are the odds they could get all the same jurors that were at the OJ trial?

  5. God don't like ugly!

    Oh you very bad boy! You know you played hide the twinkie with those children…..now you lie to get out of paying for it. What goes around comes around-you were a joke before you started raping kids and it is only going to get worse now. I know you worship Michael Jackson but come on, at least he knew he looked ridiculous in the para-military garb. No one is saying that “you look like a soldier”. They’re saying that you look retarded.

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