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Britney went boating with this tool. The reason why I use the descriptive term “tool” is because I read the contents of his MySpace. Exactly what you’d expect of a Britney sperm donor, my friends.
Isaac Cohen, a 25-year-old Jewish model from Encino, Calif., is the chiseled hunk pictured spending quality time boating with Britney, 25, off the L.A. coast on January 6.
And if his MySpace webpage (where he goes by the name “Eyezik”) is any indication, Cohen may be expecting to ride his Britney connection onto bigger and better things in 2007.
Cohen goes on to list his interests as: “living, duuurtt bikes, 4 Wheelin’, kung fu flicks, rappin’, slappin’, tappin’. ya know?!!? oh let’s see what else… ohhh and i love taffy! i am a man who loves his taffy…mhmmm mhmmm mhmmm mhhmmmm!”
In his “groups” section on MySpace, Cohen is a member of ROOR — whose Web site features a photo of a marihuana bong, along with the phrase: “The best thing since sliced bread! Objects of perfection helping thousands get higher every day!”
“Rappin’ and slappin’”. “Eyezik”. And “durrttt bikes”. Right. If I was a lady-type, I wouldn’t let him within two miles of my vagina. The possibility that this wigga could breed is scarier than global warming and North Korea’s nuclear capability put together. The vaccuum created by his and Britney’s empty heads is going to suck us all in until the universe implodes. That science is probably incorrect but I’m stupider for having written about him.
More photos of Britney’s boy toy after the jump.
Golda Meir | January 10, 2007 at 6:12 pm
He’s a disgrace to his race!
Dardoz | January 10, 2007 at 6:53 pm
Have 2 say. Ever since I saw Britt’s pics getting out of the taxi with Paris (u know the ones) I have lost interest in this girl. Trampy!
meg | January 10, 2007 at 9:00 pm
FYI the taffy thing is a family guy ref- not (only) something drrty
meg | January 10, 2007 at 9:01 pm
FYI the taffy thing is a family guy ref- not (only) something drrty
Darian Zam | January 10, 2007 at 9:52 pm
Seriously, J. Harvey is some kind of genius!
Are there any kind of awards we can put him forward for?
Like the Nobel prize for lit?
raven | January 11, 2007 at 2:05 am
i seriously doubt someone that’s this big of a moron is a jew. his mom prolly screwed around with ups guy.
cherry | January 11, 2007 at 11:02 am
Wow- I don’t recall you ever leading off an introduction with declaring someones religious affiliation in the description before. Whats with that? Can you please let us know if Lohans boyfriend is Christian?
Small Fry | January 11, 2007 at 12:13 pm
Um, he sounds exactly like Fed-Ex. Does this girl not learn from her mistakes? What a dip-shit.