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Here’s sour patch Christina Aguilera checkin’ out Barney’s in Beverly Hills. Remember that weird movie on morning cable TV when you were a kid where the little Australian girl was animated against a live-action forest and she ran around having wilderness adventures with a friggin’ kangaroo? That’s what Xtina reminds me of. Except she’s the pre-op character who works in a Malaysian brothel. She’s a Bratz doll that escaped her cartoon universe and now she’s against a backdrop of reality but still looks like sexed-up cartoon plastic. If she passed you on the street, you’d do a double take. And not because she’s so hot, but because you thought that windowpane you did sophomore year was repeating on you.

Click any image in the gallery for more pictures of Christina Aguilera in Beverly Hills.

Here’s Christina Aguilera checkin’ out Barney’s in Beverly
Hills. Remember that weird movie on morning cable TV when you were a
kid where the little Australian girl was animated against a live-action
forest and she ran around having wilderness adventures with a friggin’
kangaroo? That’s what Xtina reminds me of. Except she’s the pre-op character who works in a Malaysian brothel. She’s a Bratz doll that escaped her cartoon universe and now she’s against a backdrop of reality but still looks like sexed-up cartoon plastic.
If she passed you on the street, you’d do a double take. And not
because she’s so hot, but because you thought that windowpane you did
sophomore year was repeating on you.

Click any image in the gallery for more pictures of Christina Aguilera in Beverly Hills.