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OMG, that was like my absolute funniest, most inspired title for a post ever! I’m so glad you were able to experience it with me. Now, for those of you who are done laughing, let’s get down to the meat of this post. “Lost” star and Columbia graduate, Matthew Fox, has been chosen to speak at the Columbia College Class Day and the students there are annoyed. Us Weekly relates The Columbia Spectator’s report on student reactions to the news:

One student was overheard saying, “They obviously couldn’t find anybody. He must have been 29th on the list.”

Another one muttered, “The years before got a Pulitzer Prize-winner and a potential presidential candidate. I suppose that after what happened last year, they wanted someone less controversial.”

Ah, so I get it now. The difference between Ivy League schools and all the rest is that they actually give a shit who speaks at their school, while the rest of us are more concerned with figuring out how to scam a free baseball cap without actually having to sign up for that useless credit card with our school mascot on the front.

(WENN)