Courtney Stodden has single-handedly revived the stigma of Hollywood Boulevard by wearing porn heels and a red string bikini under a faux fur leopard coat. Like every creep that’s come before her, Stodden opened up her coat and flashed photographers. Tah-Dah!
Stodden and her hobbit husband, Doug Hutchinson were en route film a Funny or Die skit with Jason Alexander. We assume Stodden’s camp (her mom) demanded money for this, since it appears that times are tough in the Hutchinson household. “ATTENTION!!! Support my music career!!!!!!!!” Stodden wrote on Facebook December 7th. “With dougs acting no longer bringing in the ca$h (lol) since we got married xoxoxo we need all the money we can get!”
Here are some more updates from Stodden’s Twitter/Facebook account:
“Mr. Moist Saint Nick: As I magnetically dangle this magical mistletoe above my mere mysteriousness… I imagine your mouth smooching mine…” Gross.
“Squeezing my snowballs inside of a seasonal sexy little lingerie as I begin to swing around the Christmas tree to hot rock ‘n roll hits! XOs.” Squeezing your snowballs? As in, boobs?
“Dear Santa: Since you work so HARD to satisfy, I will be leaving you a lil’ more than just creamy cookies for your sweet tooth this year…” Ok, Santa’s not a gigolo.
Psalm 139:14 “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Happy Sunday! XOs” Praise the Lord for snowballs and moist Saint Nick!