On Paris Hilton: “I’ve been asked to do a new reality show with Paris Hilton, but frankly, I find her just the tiniest bit c-o-m-m-o-n, don’t you?” Edna joked. “Besides, I like shows that are enduring and nothing that Hilton girl does lasts much longer than one night, does it?”

On Tom Cruise: “Poor Tom, the dear boy was so into me, but he was, errr, lacking in certain things I find necessary in a partner.” Scientology was also grist for the humor mill. “I have my own cult, Tom,’ I told him ‘and it’s bigger than yours,’” said the actor, whose real name is Barry Humphries. “That shut him up and the needy little beggar left me alone.”

(Source: Scoop, second item)