Previously – Denise nixed showing off her Richards for Playboy again, and she subjected her poor widower dad Irv to a horrific makeover to attend some red carpet event that I don’t think they even went into. Denise is a psychotic and she must be stopped.

Trish asks Denise about what its like getting a Brazilian wax. Does Trish have a job? I know her husband is the chiropracter. But what does she do? She seems to have a lot of time to lie around Denise’s house like a bored hooker.

That torturing bitch Denise pulls out a wax pot and says she will do it FOR Trish. Denise Richards waxing my taint is worse than Jason Voorhees leaping through my window at summer camp. At least a machete is quicker. Denise is seriously intent on their waxing their vaginas.

Denise Richards is so full of appointments that Trish feels that she isn’t making time for her. It’s not like the bitch works. I don’t see her running after that sit-com Joel Silver pawned off on her. Denise keeps talking about waxing the bush right in her home. She’s got some sort of fetish and it’s totally alarming.

More Denise, after the jump.

Previously – Denise nixed showing off her Richards for Playboy again, and she subjected her poor widower dad Irv to a horrific makeover to attend some red carpet event that I don’t think they even went into. Denise is a psychotic and she must be stopped.Trish asks Denise about what its like getting a Brazilian wax. Does Trish have a job? I know her husband is the chiropracter. But what does she do? She seems to have a lot of time to lie around Denise’s house like a bored hooker. That torturing bitch Denise pulls out a wax pot and says she will do it FOR Trish. Denise Richards waxing my taint is worse than Jason Voorhees leaping through my window at summer camp. At least a machete is quicker. Denise is seriously intent on their waxing their vaginas. Denise Richards is so full of appointments that Trish feels that she isn’t making time for her. It’s not like the bitch works. I don’t see her running after that sit-com Joel Silver pawned off on her. Denise keeps talking about waxing the bush right in her home. She’s got some sort of fetish and it’s totally alarming.More Denise, after the jump.Denise and her poor downtrodden father Irv drive around. Denise complains that her gay gave her the wrong schedule. They agree that Sho (the gay) is totally scatter-brained and that he isn’t working well with Sabrina. Sabrina is the woman they brought on to supplement Sho’s idiocy and to scoop up shit in the yard. She’s probably a screenwriter, the poor bitch.Denise feels that nothing is getting done, and it’s causing her stress. She can barely focus on ripping the hair out of her labia with hot wax, she’s so frazzled. Cut to Sho and Sabrina passive-aggressively torturing each other. Sho obviously hates this chick, probably because she’s a symbol of how he couldn’t do his job correctly. That’s woundy. Denise tells Sabrina to schedule swimming lessons for the girls and wants to make sure some clothes she borrowed for photo shoots are returned. Apparently, Denise has relationships with several boutiques that lend her ass clothes for photoshoots and events. But they have to be returned immediately. Denise inquires as to whether Sabrina and Sho are ok.Denise is one with her children, and her life is all about the girls. Oh please. And all her friends, including sister Michelle Plain and Tall, are on her ass about going out more. Because that always looks good in the tabloids. Have you seen Christina Aguilera lately? That ho can barely lift her heavily made up face off the bar to go home and tuck her kid in.Denise meets with her “divorce mediator” Dr. Katz. Uh, wasn’t that a really wavy cartoon on Comedy Central? Oh shit, I hope he’s animated. I loved his receptionist. Denise and her haggard face talk turkey with the soothingly-voiced, unanimated Dr. Katz. Damn. This could have been a hot MC Skat Cat-type situation. Except instead of a dancing cat rapper and drunken pop hag, it could have been a kindly therapist and golddigging nympho.Her therapist tells her she’s lost a lot. And she has baggage with accessories. Or he so has a book. Denise takes this moment to ask “am I f*cked up?” Yes. You like watching pigs have sex, called a People magazine writer a “c*nt” in her office” and recently offered to wax your friend’s vagina. He tells her to stop hanging out with the kids 24-7, and she’s nesting with them. Denise wants him to get over it. Then she goes him, bitches to her Dad that her therapist made her feel worse, and eats with her mouth full. Seriously, lettuce is flying everywhere out of her maw. Irv thinks she’s crazy, and pretty much lets her know it. I sorta like Irv. He tries.Denise says she wants to build something. Like playhouses for the kids. What? Isn’t that kind of the opposite of what the friggin’ doctor told her. She makes the pooper scooper assistant order the kit. And she reminds her about the clothes to return. Oh, those clothes are so not getting returned.Denise attacks the man from the playhouse store who won’t give her directions. She has gay Sho help her which she qualifies by saying it’s still like doing it by herself. Fire this queen! Damn, I could put your life together and I haven’t done friggin’ laundry in two weeks!There’s a search for the drill. She has none. She takes Sho. Why? There’s no refund for power tools. She’s screwed. Oh oh. The store calls about the clothes return. Sho blames Sabrina. Of course, he does. This bitch is so shifty. He’s using hand gestures to demonstrate how he’s been replaying his completely false clothes returning scenario. Gays will do that. If you see gay hands flailing, it’s usually a lie.Sho reveals that he’s considered quitting Denise’s employ because he cant’ stand Sabrina’s ass. Denise seems to be down with Sho staying. For now. Wait until he finds out he lies like a cheap IKEA rug!E! is calling their new episodes “super new.” Ugh. Denise is enjoying the building of the playhouse. She should go into construction. Michelle Plain and Tall is here. She’s here to cancel Denise’s fun, and points out that building a playhouse isn’t for HER. The kids slam the playhouse door in Denise’s face and one of em’ tells her it sucks.Denise turns to Irv to complain about the clothes incident. She mentions that Sho is trying to throw Sabrina under the bus. Sabrina might have to throw that shit into reverse. I’m sorry, she must want the job if she’s picking up dog dookie so she needs to nip this in the bud.Irv suggests a meeting with the two of them. She gathers them together. Irv gets involved! He has a judge demeanor going on! He should totally replace Judge Judy. Denise says she doesn’t mind mistakes but she needs people to fess’ up. Sabrina gives her side of the story. Sho gives his. Accusations of lies are thrown around. Denise herself gets all Law & Order and says it’s about “integrity.” This girl is already behind the bench!Sabrina totally kicks Sho in the dick by claiming he told her he was going to admit his mistake to Sho. Oh snap! Sho then says that her mood makes him want to kill her. Denise tells them to get their shit together. This is high drama, and I also had no idea that Irv was so tightly braided into Denise’s affairs. He’s so going to have her committed qnd take over. Which he should.Sho and Denise are out, and he’s on the verge of tears because of the tension. Denise tells him he needs to build the trust back up because he was obviously undermining Sabrina’s ass. Score one of the big girl. Denise feels that Sho isn’t long for her pink playhouse kingdom.Denise is applying her face (three hours in) when she gets a text from Sho. He’s quit. Via text. You can’t text message break up! Denise asks Sabrina to set up some more interviews. Sabrina’s getting married? Sho is so going to sabotage her wedding and make the cake low-fat! Denise is furious about Sho’s lack of professionalism. Michelle Plain and Tall planned Denise a spa party. Well, who’s giving the treatment? Oh, some illegals. All of Denise’s crazy girls indulge themselves. The British chick has something planned, as well. She seems like a bawdy lass! Denise refers to the spa people as “therapists.” Good lord. Natalie, the bawdy broad, has brought some sex toys. Denise seems to be crying as she talks about the various cremes and ointments. Did this admitted whore just refer to dildos as “pointy things”? So she’s a verbal prude or is it the censors? Then someone shows up with a POLE! The girls get pole dancing lessons. Denise doesn’t seem to need the reminders. She seems to be very familiar with the pole landscape.Next – Tattoos and death.