Diddy Risks His Own Life, Yells at Naomi Campbell

February 13th, 2007 // 15 Comments

(WENN)

Diddy’s incredibly smart, and proved it by screaming at Naomi Campbell for no apparent reason at Jermaine Dupri’s Grammy party . They’re going to find half of him in a dumpster and the other half adorning her mantel. You watch.

The late-night bash took place after Clive Davis’ annual party. “[Diddy] just started screaming at her when he saw her,” says the spy. “No one could believe it. He was screaming obscenities at her, and also screaming at Terrence Howard, who was with her.”

Campbell, however, brushed it off. “Naomi played it totally cool,” says the party guest.

Of course she was cool. Revenge is a dish best served cold, dumbasses. You think this is over? Sources speculate that it was because Diddy’s babymamma doesn’t dig Naomi, or because she wouldn’t model for Sean Jean. I wouldn’t either. Those clothes are wack. I’m always seeing them on the $10.99 or less rack down at Marshall’s. Anyway, someday soon, Diddy’s going to be putting some Italian facial oils on after he gets out of the shower. And the mirror will be all steamy, and when he wipes it off he’ll receive the fright of his life when he sees Naomi standing over his shoulder. She’s going to be fingering a butcher knife and demanding to know “wot you said to me, you bloody git? I’ll kill you! I’ll fookin’ kill you!” STAB STAB STAB. End.

By J. Harvey
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Comments (15)

  1. Paige | February 13, 2007 at 4:15 pm

    Ha … wonderful job with the English Naomi slang/banter. As an ex-pat American currently living in England, I miss the opportunity to make fun of these ‘stoic’ or whatever the f*** they like to refer to themselves as. Oh but their desserts are fantabulous. And bless them for thinking my US size 4 is ‘too small’. Bring on the bad teeth!

  2. hayleybopp | February 13, 2007 at 4:40 pm

    OMG, I’m in tears! J you are too funny-love the scenario!

  3. some dude | February 13, 2007 at 4:43 pm

    you can take the trash out the ghetto/trailer park but you can’t take the ghetto/trailer park out of the trash

  4. mg | February 13, 2007 at 5:16 pm

    You are bloody hilarious. Thanks for the laugh!

  5. Jinxy McDeath | February 13, 2007 at 5:22 pm

    Diddy is a dead man. Naomi may be violently insane, but even she’s not crazy enough to wear DOG SKIN, AND DOG FUR TRIMMED COUTURE. Bitch has to draw the line on lunacy somewhere and it happened to be with Diddy’s skeevy clothing.

  6. electro^plankton | February 13, 2007 at 5:50 pm

    You shop at Marshalls?

  7. John | February 13, 2007 at 6:27 pm

    You are so DAMN funny – I almost choked on my martini.

    LOVE you J. Harvey!!

  8. Tom Sederburg | February 13, 2007 at 7:48 pm

    They both suck.

    What was Terrence Howard doing with that gorgonian xanthippe?

    Later,
    Tom

  9. Ghost | February 13, 2007 at 10:42 pm

    this is the most hilarious [and probably true] post ever.

  10. Loob | February 14, 2007 at 1:04 am

    I love you, J.Harvey!

  11. germangirl | February 14, 2007 at 3:12 am

    wahaha

    your killin me j, best thing in the morning

    thanx for making me laughing out loud

  12. rdiggity | February 14, 2007 at 11:01 am

    That’s one of the greatest article titles ever

  13. Indrid Cold | February 14, 2007 at 12:38 pm

    Hey Paige. Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way back to the U.S. will you?

    P. Diddy is a pig. The sooner Naomi OJs his ass the better. Might even compete with Anna Nicole for headlines.

  14. JaneSays | February 14, 2007 at 2:24 pm

    That’s weird because last year, they were all over each other and you always saw one with the other. It’s such a shame what coke fueds do to friendships. Two bloated egos…on coke. No wonder they hate each other. I would have LOVED for Naomi to toss a diamond-encrusted phone at his Proactiv-needing mug though or to see her slap him in the mouth so hard that his mouth actually closes (for once)! That would be priceless.

  15. bibi | February 14, 2007 at 4:34 pm

    I just collapsed on desk in PURE LAUGHTER….LMAO!!! that was too sweet, whew

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