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“Hello, this is the scent for you. Are you famous and busy? Do you need to smoke the cigarettes while working out on your Stairmaster and beating an assistant at the same time in front of your global satellite projection system? Have you ever pulled a train in a jacuzzi on a yacht docked near Crete? Do you eat but one of the pieces of lettuce a day? Do you carry your cocaine in a beautiful signet ring with secret flip top that your dear Mama gave you when you were but a girl? Have you ever sent a bitch down the runway wearing nothing but nipple piercings, shiny Day-Glo panties and a cheesecloth wrap? Then this, this is your scent.”
(WENN)
looks like the scent of death
This why I love you, J.Harvey!
“Have you ever sent a bitch down the runway wearing nothing but nipple piercings, shiny Day-Glo panties and a cheesecloth wrap?” OMG I think I just lost my job from laughing so hard at that line J your an amazing writer to funny for words keep it up
If her face is any indication of the scent I’ll smell like a punching bag!
The scent is called “Marlboro Reds” LOL
Finally, a perfume for my own lifestyle. I never thought I’d find the perfect, intoxicating blend of silicone, methamphetamines, peroxide and unfiltered sicilian cigarettes in a single bottle. What else would we aging, melting fashionistas use as a perfume? Calvin Klein’s CK One? Please. I go on coke binges, not heroin.
I just peed my pants a little. I just love your hilarious writing style. Keep up the good work (even if this means losing my job)!!!
hope maya rudolph is reading this… is so, it’ll be in her next snl skit for sure! too funny, J, too funny!
*if*
gah, i hate typos.
the fresh odor of saddle soap, I’m guessing