Oh, what a mess. When you’re insane, “discreet” flies out the window. And you know these pics he sold are gonna be passed around the frat house for generations. In between homoerotic hazing activity. Anyway, as we reported earlier, Britney hooked up with an extra on the set of her video. And after underwater antics, they adjourned back to the hotel room for some retard sex. And he’s proclaiming he slept with a famous crazy to the hills and back!
He said: “I went in and found Britney lying on the bed with her knees up and just a pair of pink panties on. She was looking like she was ready – and I wanted to finalise it. She straddled me and put her legs around me. When I started kissing her I did everything in my power – from my previous experience of kissing girls – not to mess it up.
Britney had more drinks – she was having Jack and more Mojitos in between me feeling her up, her boobs, and kissing her on her neck. Her body was very nice. It was sexual and sensual kissing. It took some effort to perfect.
She is a great kisser – I’d actually say a phenomenal kisser.”
He was planning to spend the rest of the night in her bed — until one of his friends collapsed and nearly drowned from all the booze he had downed. Britney’s bodyguards stepped in and ordered Mike to take his mate home.
Mike added: “In the end we had to say our goodbyes.”
How sad. “Effort to perfect”? He sounds like the kind of guy who’s heated a melon in the microwave for nefarious reasons. So when the bodyguard popped in was she like “ya’ll bettah git! I’m gettin’ my swerve on! And fetch me a ham sandwich! I git hungry aftah lovin’!” Ugh. WHERE’S YOUR KIDS?