View the Gallery / 5 Photos »

Then don’t drive drunk, dummy! She’s irritated that it’s a big ole’ accessory not suitable for most shoe selections. Better to just wear a sackcloth and call it a day. Didn’t she used to have a clothing line? Just throw a label on it and call it yours! Didn’t Fitty market bulletproof vests? Judicially ordered outfits are the new thing. Show off your court-ordered birth control implant with a jazzy tattoo! Just work it!

“It’s the most annoying thing,” she told PEOPLE Tuesday night at Tao Nightclub in Las Vegas. “When they told me I was getting it on, I thought it was going to be like a beeper, but it’s like a pair of Bose headphones.”

The 29-year-old rapper was ordered to wear the Secure Continuous Remote Alcohol Monitor (SCRAM) after striking a plea agreement for her DUI arrest in April. Eve will be allowed to remove the device on Sept. 8.

In her defense, she’s not just a snotty bitch. She did take the time to say she made a big mistake and urged kids not to drink and drive. Then she did a couple of shots of Patron, jumped in her Bentley and sped off. As long as she doesn’t team with Gwen again, she can do whatever the hell she wants. I’d rather she run over my Nana than hear another broadway musical number transformed into a bad club track. God, was “Rich Girl” terrible or what?

(Splash)