O.J. Simpson is saying that he might be the father of Anna Nicole’s kid .

I know, right?

When the blond bombshell died last month and at least three men claimed to be the father of her baby girl, Dannielynn, the double-murder acquittee “said he was throwing his hat into the ring,” Norm Pardo told Page Six. Pardo is the videographer who amassed 70 hours of footage of Simpson from 2000 to 2005. “He said he knew Anna Nicole pretty well, and he said he had slow-moving sperm, and he might be the father.” Simpson and Smith were castmates in “Naked Gun 331/3: The Final Insult” (1994), and Anna Nicole was certainly O.J.’s type. His murdered wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, was also blond and busty. Simpson, who often visits the Bahamas, also joked to Pardo, “I hope they don’t do a DNA test on Anna Nicole’s baby. If they find out Dannielynn is mine, I don’t want Fred Goldman trying to seize her money – or the baby herself.” Goldman – the father of Ron Goldman, who was killed with Nicole – has been the most relentless in pursuing damages over the murders in civil court after Simpson was acquitted on criminal charges.

Is he actually COMPLAINING that the father of the kid who he got stab-happy with is looking for justice in anyway he can? What a gaping, psychotic asshole. As for him being the father of Dannielyn, I doubt it. But if it was true, wouldn’t that make her the Prophesied One here to bring the world to ruin? Nations crumble, locusts fly, people die screaming and all that? I am the rock, the chain, and the lightning! I am the Alpha and the Omega! O.J. was my Daddy, and Mommy was a tesseract version of Marilyn Monroe with drugs in the mini-fridge! I am your DOOM!