Farrah Abraham has done the impossible: She’s given us more reason to believe that she is undeserving of her material wealth.
On one hand, it’s infuriating to know much much money Abraham’s made since starring on Teen Mom. On the other, I can sleep well at night knowing how she acquired her funds: getting knocked up before being old enough to buy ciggies and porn, fighting with her weird parents, making a sex tape, and agreeing to the be the face of strip clubs.
Journalist Allie Contie of the Miami New Times spoke to Abraham over the phone, who assumed that the interview was about her appearance at some Vivid club, blah blah blah.
First off, the sex tape Abaraham made with her “boyfriend,” James Deen.
“Basically, how my sex tape came about is how I live my life,” Abraham tried to explain, thinking that everyone reading the article is an absolute moron.
“I’m 22, I’m very sexual, I’m single. A boyfriend of mine at the time, which was James [Deen], is in the industry and makes videos all the time, and so I thought it was a comfortable situation to have my only sex video with him.
“Proved me wrong, obviously, because it was leaking out, and I was starting to have people reach out to me. Maybe he did that because he wanted to promote his film at the time, The Canyons, which was coming out with Lindsay Lohan. So it turned into a hurtful chain of events, so I involved my lawyer. Other companies were reaching out and wanted to buy it, so I ended up selling it. And against all odds of everybody else telling me not to sell it, not to do it or whatever — it was already out, it was already going to be out there for free. So I made a business deal out of it. I’m smart, and I’m happy that I did that.”
Wait, it gets better. Conti asked Abraham if she was a feminist because she made lemonade out of STD-riddled lemons, even though her “boyfriend” totes sold her out.
“I’m pretty feminine. I think so,” Abraham answered.
Conti had to clarify her question, pointing out that she said “feminist,” and not “feminine.”
“What does that mean, you’re a lesbian or something?” Farah asked.
Yup. You feminine/feminist lesbian, you.