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District Judge Katherine Marshall has decided that British pop star, George Michael, will not be sentenced to jail today for driving while under the influence. Michael had been found slumped over the wheel of his car, after he had been spotted driving erratically, and was charged with driving while impaired. He pleaded guilty to the charge and has admitted that:

“I had done something really wrong in putting other people at risk.”

The judge has yet to announce what her plans are for his sentencing. Sheesh, nobody’s going to jail these days. That’s boring. I need to go hurry up and get famous, so I can start running people over. Yeah, Grandma, I’m looking at you.

(WENN)