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Brandon Davis is an oil(y) heir that you often see shambling around L.A. with no job and looking bloated and getting grease on famous sluts. Word is that his parents have had enough and cut him off. Several prominent cocaine dealers in L.A. are nervous. Brandon Davis and Lohan were responsible for a lot of seedy people’s condo payments, and now it’s all come crashing down.
“I know for a fact that his parents cut him off,” a pal tells us. “Brandon has just enough money to get a very inexpensive, low-rate room at The Standard [hotel in Miami]. We all feel sorry for him. Brandon’s in a bad place and is very depressed. He has kicked his partying up big time.”
Didn’t he rag on Lohan for being “poor”? This is almost as sad as when they got that little girl out of the well. Or when Paris went to jail. Or when Hitler killed himself.
green cardigan | July 16, 2007 at 12:16 pm
Oh well. He will just have to go and get a job now. He should get himself a few spangly jumpsuits and become an Elvis impersonator (mid 70′s era). Open a few petrol stations and food halls, sweating on all the seniors and school goers as he sings ‘Always on My Mind’.
Earn an honest crust like the rest of us.
T-Bone | July 16, 2007 at 12:20 pm
Green — Hilarious post!
Man — this guy is going to see “rock bottom” even more quickly than I first thought. It’s not gonna be pretty.
green cardigan | July 16, 2007 at 12:34 pm
Not pretty and smelling and looking like a week old fast food wrapper
Darth Paul | July 16, 2007 at 12:47 pm
Pure hilarity…glad you’re back, J!!
Hannah | July 16, 2007 at 1:18 pm
So this “pal” feels sorry for him. What a hoot. This is obviously a guy who has had copious amounts of money, that could have been used to do something meaningful with his life, and yet he spends all his time partying. Yeah…
Clarisse | July 16, 2007 at 1:22 pm
Aw, couldn’t happen to a nicer guy!
(Green, hilarious as always!!)
Chaz | July 16, 2007 at 1:26 pm
Hey, a lot of people couldn’t even afford the so-called “inexpensive” hotel room. Feel sorry for them.
Things obviously haven’t gotten so bad that this walking pustule has stopped traveling, or (horrors!) considered getting a job. That’s when we’ll know it’s serious. Anything that gets his fug ass into an office 9-to-5 and away from the Heat Miser impersonations on ASL can only be for the good.
Ashley | July 16, 2007 at 2:08 pm
Good he’s such a jerk…..hes fat and ugly and money was the only thing he had going for him….
Ashley | July 16, 2007 at 2:09 pm
Good he’s such a jerk…..hes fat and ugly and money was the only thing he had going for him….
Clarisse | July 16, 2007 at 2:30 pm
G’Demmit Chaz! Now i’m going to be singing that song all day!!!
I’m Mister Green Christmas
I’m Mister Sun
I’m Mister Heat Blister
I’m Mister Hundred and One
They call me Heat Miser,
What ever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch
I’m too much!
Samantha Jones | July 16, 2007 at 3:10 pm
There is justice in the world!
And seriously, who would hire this wasted douchebucket? People who are high all the time with massive egos and no work ethic don’t tend to keep jobs.
God, I LOVE the fact that he called Hohan poor and now he’s been cut off. If I were Hohan it would SO hard to keep my mouth shut about this! And if I were Hohan I would just have to blow my head off for that fact alone.
shelana | July 16, 2007 at 4:38 pm
what a looo-ser
Jen | July 16, 2007 at 5:40 pm
Kharma is a bitch!