Heidi Montag Will Do You If You Get Her Loaded

July 1st, 2008 // 6 Comments

Oh how I wish she were wandering around with those sunglasses on because someone in the heavens above had heard my prayers and struck her dumb ass blind. Our favorite God-fearing Christian has come out with another song. This one emphasizes her newly-touted stellar moral values.

The title is “One More Drink” and the gist of the song is that she’s one drink away from leaving the club and going home to bang the guy she’s singing to. She warbles in a digitally-altered high-pitched falsetto, “I’m going home with you if I have one more drink.”

Yeah, that’s our Heidi, a real classy lady. Her first single off her Christian album she’s squawking about will probably be “Jesus Take The Wheel Because I’m Too Drunk To Drive.”

The song ends with her talking about how she’s so drunk she can barely walk. Yay! It’s the date-rape anthem for the summer! Someone get this lady to a Lacrosse team, stat. 


Oh how I wish she were wandering around with those sunglasses on because someone in the heavens above had heard my prayers and struck her dumb ass blind. Our favorite God-fearing Christian has come out with another song. This one emphasizes her newly-touted stellar moral values.

The title is “One More Drink” and the gist of the song is that she’s
one drink away from leaving the club and going home to bang the guy
she’s singing to. She warbles in a digitally-altered high-pitched
falsetto, “I’m going home with you if I have one more drink.”

Yeah, that’s our Heidi, a real classy lady. Her first single off her
Christian album she’s squawking about will probably be “Jesus Take The
Wheel Because I’m Too Drunk To Drive.”

The song ends with her talking about how she’s so drunk she can barely
walk. Yay! It’s the date-rape anthem for the summer! Someone get this
lady to a Lacrosse team, stat.

By LT

  1. Pam

    These two boneheads disgust me.

  2. tina

    not sure why people follow these 2 around, they are so cute and I think people are just jelous. I Can think of much stranger people that people don’t write about.

  3. tony the tiger

    what is this crap about the modelmillionaire site that someone keeps posting? like there are millionaires trolling for relationsnips on tawdry websites. i bet the major advertiser on the site is VALTREX. better bring along a bottle of clorox for your date ladies.

  4. tony the tiger

    what is this crap about the modelmillionaire site that someone keeps posting? like there are millionaires trolling for relationsnips on tawdry websites. i bet the major advertiser on the site is VALTREX. better bring along a bottle of clorox for your date ladies.

  5. b.SL

    LOL@ Tony the Tiger… Valtrex.
    I’m sorry, SL. But that was funny. Tina, no one’s jealous. I know God doesn’t make mistakes, but these two make it hard to decide for WHAT purpose these two sweaty huevos were created.

  6. Amy

    ‘Jesus Take the Wheel, cuz I’m too drunk to drive.’ HIlarious!!

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