A child is not a purse. Jessica Simpson has expressed interest in adopting a child . “Like Angelina”. Couldn’t you just steal a husband like her, and spare a child from being raised in idiocy, Daisy Douche?
She says, “I think Angelina Jolie has done amazing things. The international adoption rate has skyrocketed (since she adopted her children Maddox and Zahara).
“I want to adopt before I actually have my own kids. I want three kids–but I don’t know if I can give birth three times. We have to see how much pain is involved first!
“Ever since I was a kid I said I wanted to save the world somehow. I didn’t know how. I think I’ll end up doing things that can touch somebody in some way that’s good–like through orphanages.”
Can’t she do something good like put some coins through the slot in a can at the Piggly Wiggly? Seriously, I know it’s a good thought, but I’m envisioning this conversation:
Jessica: Who’s that?
Personal Assistant: That’s the baby you adopted from Cambodia.
Jessica: What’s that?
Personal Assistant: An impoverished country. You said you wanted to be like Angelina?
Personal Assistant: Tall woman, stole Jennifer Aniston’s husband?
Jessica: Oh yeah, she’s really pretty. Do you have any gum?
Personal assistant: Here.
Jessica: *smacks gum loudly* Did Ashlee call?
Personal Assistant: Jessica, the baby’s playing with the stove…
More photos of Jessica Simpson and her really really big bags (no, not her boobs) after the jump.