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Everybody’s flying to every network or newspaper or magazine they can to make sure Paris knows exactly how nightmarish prison is. This NYC hooker tells Page Six that Paris can expect plenty of terror. I’d write more but I’m dancing gleefully. Natalia McLennan, who I guess is known as NYC’s “#1 Escort”, spent some time at Ryker’s Island and didn’t find it to be a luxury resort. Good. Hookers deserve to be in prison! THEY STEAL WALLETS!
First, McLennan says, Hilton must brace herself for an embarrassing physical that includes a full-body cavity search. She should also get used to being eyeballed by horny lesbian inmates. “She’ll want to make at least one good friend, like a Nicole Richie, to watch her back for her when she takes a shower . . . And I’d tell her, ‘Drop the attitude.’ ”
She says Hilton can also use a psychological trick to survive, remembering that, “it doesn’t get any worse than this – it can only get better.”
I say make it the real deal and throw that stick figure Nicole Richie in with her! The Simple Life: Scalded With Boiling Hot Gravy In The Caf Because You Looked The Wrong Way At Queen Bee. Isn’t Nicole the one joy-riding the wrong way down the damn freeway all looped on pills? F*ck her. Throw the key away on em’ both!
More photos of Paris Hilton holding her puppy after the jump.
Megan | May 16, 2007 at 12:11 pm
Paris is a loser, but my god that puppy is effing cute!
ChristopherM | May 16, 2007 at 12:22 pm
Now J. Harvey, you can’t seriously think that Nicole Ritchie should be put in prison too. What would the point be in that? She would slip right between the bars as soon as they lock her up!
green cardigan | May 16, 2007 at 12:59 pm
This moron always seems to be carrying a different pet. What happens to all these little dogs? Does she discard them like last month’s fashions?
I somehow don’t see her filling dog dishes or collecting dog poo off the pavement
Zekers | May 16, 2007 at 1:16 pm
No, I’m sure she doesn’t pick up the dog poo…she leaves it feeling like people should feel honored to have her dog s**t in their yard…sell it on Ebay or something, right Paris?
By the way, the pouting pic is pathetic, probably still works on mommy and daddy though.
dolcejenny | May 16, 2007 at 4:24 pm
MILLIONS of people are in jail in the US.
America currently has more people in prison than EVER BEFORE IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD.
And nobody cares how safe jail is for them!
This ho is going to be in PC–protective custody–so don’t worry, she won’t even experience REAL JAIL.
She needs to be on TV thanking God she didnt get arrested for any of the hard DRUGS she does.
Heidi C. | May 23, 2007 at 10:01 am
paris hilton is nothing but a money craving little whore…id love to see her live a year in the hoes of normal every day people with no money to spend getting her barbies nails manicured. the bitch needs to grow the fuck up and realize that mommy n daddy will not always be there so get over urself n be a woman not a snobby ass im too good for you little whore that everyone should love..lifes hard nowadays n us people dont care for little cunts running around showing themselves off every 30 seconds.sorry but the hoe needs to grow the fuck up n step up to life………………………damn