Jennifer Aniston Planning To Adopt Like For Serious, Y’all

February 7th, 2007 // 17 Comments

(Splash)

Life&Style has the scoop on Jennifer Aniston’s reported plans to adopt herself a baby. A heart-to-heart with her bosom buddy, Courtney Cox, resulted in Aniston’s realization that perhaps adoption is the way for her to go, rather than lamenting the loss of her ex, Vince Vaughn.

Jen’s not adopting right now, her rep insists, before adding, “she doesn’t rule out the possibility in the future.” But according to the pal, “It could be weeks, not months, before Jen becomes a mother. She’s meeting with adoption lawyers, and she’s telling everyone to get ready — it’s going to happen soon!”

I enjoy this story. This is just the kind of juicy gossip that we love to divulge. At the same time, I’ve already drafted my post for tomorrow morning when the whole thing gets denied to high-heaven. Because I’m just that professional.

Check out Jennifer Aniston’s new nose after the jump.

(Splash)

By Lisa Timmons

  1. “I said, no wire coat hangers!”

  2. likop

    This is spin.

  3. Whatever

    She does know that kids don’t like pity parties, and sitting in the middle of goddess circles, right?

    Does she know that kids spit up on designer clothes, and pull on perfect (but boring) hair? That they want you to entertain them, not the other way around?

  4. LMAO! HER UGLY MUTT FACE IS STILL FUGLY, AND THIS AIN’T NO BULL! SHE’S AN OLD HAS BEEN, AND IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW MANY PLASTIC SURGERIES, BOOB JOBS, TUMMY TUCKS, ETC SHE GETS, SHE WILL ALWAYS REMAIN AN UGLY DOG MUTT FACE. TOO BAD THE DOC DIDN’T ADD A TAIL TO THIS UGLY SORRY PIECE OF TRASH! YEAH! SHE SURE IS HISTORY! AND YES EVERYONE, “MOMMIE DEAREST IS COMING BACK GUARD YOUR LOINS” HELL EVEN I WOULDN’T WANT TO BE A KID AND HAVE THIS CRAZY ASS PSYCHO AS MY MOTHER, THATS FOR SURE! BOY! CAN’T WAIT TILL THE DAY COMES WHEN CPS IS CALLED ON HER. SOOOOOOO LMAO ON THIS PSYCHO CHIC!!!!

  5. YES INDEED! THIS DIMWIT WILL NEVER STOP TRYING TO GET THE MEDIA’S ATTENTION ON ANYTHING SHE DOES, INCLUDING HER BIG ASS NASTY FARTS! HER WHOLE FACE LOOKS LIKE A BIG FART!!!! if this is true gossip, then yes, i feel sorry for those kids or that one kid. she could never be a mother, because she is just tooooo into herself, self absorbed, self centered, and basically any child that this dimwit would have, would sooooo totally be a burden on her and her lifestyle. big changes would have to be made on her part, and yes the state should monitor these kids in her care. she’s too much of a messed up broad, and if she don’t take care of them, then she’ll have the nannies take care of them, and she’ll go around acting, like she’s doing everything, when she’s not. trust me, this is not her at all, her true demeanor is not the mothering type. but, everyone will see this in the end. again! here she is trying to copy her ex, and angelina. too bad, that she’s off her rocker, and old, and no one wants her anymore, but bringing in kids should not be her next move. POOR CHILDREN, I ALREADY FEEL SORRY FOR THEM!

  6. YES, I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT JEN IS WANTING TO GET SOME CHILDREN IN HER LIFE. ISN’T SHE A MESS RIGHT NOW! I MEAN, LIKE ISN’T SHE KINDA CRAZY OR SOMETHING, ESPECIALLY AFTER BRAD AND VINCE LEFT HER. NOW, THE RUMORS ARE THAT SHE’S SEEING KEANU REEVES (I THINK THAT’S HIS NAME), AND BECAUSE SHE IS KINDA NUTSO, THEN IF THIS RUMOR IS TRUE, THEN I DON’T THINK THAT KEANU WILL STICK AROUND LONG WITH THIS GAL. I’M SURE THAT HE’LL DUMP HER TOO, ESPECIALLY RIGHT AFTER HE GETS WHAT HE WANTS. KEANU WILL SEE WHAT A SCREWED UP BROAD SHE IS, AND AS USUAL HE WILL RUN LIKE THE WIND, JUST LIKE BRAD AND VINCE. FACE IT EVERYONE THIS JEN IS REALLY A MAN!!!! AND UGLY MAN TO BOOT!!!

  7. SO WHERE’S THE FIX UP ON HER SCHNOOOZER!!! DAMN! SHE LOOKS EVEN UGLIER, I MEAN SHE WASN’T CUTE OR PRETTY TO BEGIN WITH, BUT NOW SHE’S EVEN UGLIER. YEAH! I’M NOT A FAN OF HERS AT ALL AND NEVER HAVE BEEN. SHE CAN’T ACT, SHE’S OLD NOW, AND LOOKS LIKE SHE’S HAD HER 15 MINUTES OF FAME, ALREADY. SO ITS BYE, BYE FOR THIS UNATTRACTIVE GAL! PLUS SHE’S TOOOOO SHORT. I LIKE TALL AND LEAN WOMEN, THEY’RE JUST NICER BODIES THAN THE SHORT FRUMPY WOMEN. HAD TO TELL THE TRUTH!
    ————————————————
    Hate That Ugly Mutt Face said:
    LMAO!TOO BAD THE DOC DIDN’T ADD A TAIL TO THIS UGLY SORRY PIECE OF TRASH!
    ————————————————
    MAN THAT WAS FUNNY! I GUESS WHEN PRACTICALLY THE WHOLE WORLD CAN SEE THAT THIS NO TALENT HAS REACHED ROCK BOTTOM, WHAT ELSE IS THERE LEFT. HA! HA! MAYBE THE TAIL ON HER WOULD OF GIVEN HER MUCH MORE PLEASURE. YA THINK!!! LMAO! REALLY

  8. ravn

    I believe Jen would make a great mom.

  9. It’s awesome you pre-wrote your denial post.

    I would have done that too. :-)

    Later,
    Tom

  10. dolores

    really? didn’t she said that adoption is not her thing? same with charity? this ex really is a media attention whore with innocence mask on her mediocre face. she keeps licking back her own vomits like an abandoned bitch.

  11. shaz

    the shaved-down nose only serves to highlight that humongous chin of hers even more. poor jen, she should’ve left it like it was before. how would she explain a chin reduction now to fix up that mess? something as innocuous as a deviated septum my ass probably.

  12. Mr. T

    Chinnefer a mother? Not by the hair of her chinny, chin, chin. Chinnefer is more of a Maniston than a Mommy. Go ahead Jen, finish the sex change and start dating real women.

  13. Draya

    Hilarious. She didn’t want kids when she was married. NOW she’s suddenly struck with this “maternal” instinct?

    What a phony. The Au Pair with be raising any kids unlucky enough to be adopted by this shallow, self-involved nitwit.

  14. FOYER

    ANGIE DOESN’T DO ANYTHING TO JEN’S NOSE. LEAVE HER ALONE. SHE IS NOT BITCH…YOU ARE. YOU ARE BITCH, UGLY BITCH. PEOPLE DICUSS ABOUT JENIFER ANISTON NEW NOSE. LET JOINT THEM YOU GO WRONG TARGET, BITCH.

  15. ss

    Lisa Timmons, you’re funny

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