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Those residuals from Desperate Housewives must be pretty good, because this bitch doesn’t work and acts a fool wherever he goes. Go audition for something! Can’t you at least do solo jack-off porn for Dirty Tony? I swear, I used Google to find that site. I swear.

The supposed rehabbed Jesse Metcalfe got his queer eyebrows kicked out of the Ivy Hotel in San Diego last week. He was there to host “Seduction Thursday” (*snicker*), and they gave him a free room which he promptly destroyed because he’s an entitled little bitch.

“There was major damage,” we’re told. “His suite had cigarette burns in the furniture. There was food all over the walls and a broken door. All of the alcohol in the bar had been drunk,” says a source. Well, I get the bar being emptied (who wouldn’t?) but who in the hell smears food on the walls?

Metcalfe tried to stay Friday night as well (Passion Friday?), but they told him to get his presumably waxed ass out of there. His rep says that “he left his room, and [other people] made the mess.” I’m sure he only left the room for but a moment to score some coke that was cut with baby powder. It’s not like he went to visit the zoo for the day and mischevious elves messed with his suite.

Photos: WENN