Jessica Simpson Doesn’t Have The Brain Capacity For That Dress

July 30th, 2008 // 9 Comments

This bitch can not work clothes! Jessica Simpson was in Oxnard, Ca, visiting her piece Tony Romo when she had to request that he help her walk in that long orange crayon dress. Just wear shorts and flats. Or slatternly outfits like this one. Everything else is beyond your limited motor skills. I’m surprised she has the intelligence and functioning to swallow.

Tony’s at Dallas Cowboys training camp, and he left to change and pick Jessica up. They went to dinner and she realized that she couldn’t handle walking and breathing at the same time. So they laughed as Tony had to lead her along like a retarded, busty child.

Maybe you could counter-balance if you put down that ottoman you call a purse.

Click any image to view all 20 photos of Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo at training camp in the gallery!


This bitch can not work clothes! Jessica Simpson was in Oxnard, Ca, visiting her piece Tony Romo
when she had to request that he help her walk in that long orange
crayon dress. Just wear shorts and flats. Or slatternly outfits like this one. Everything else is beyond your limited motor skills. I’m surprised she has the intelligence and functioning to swallow.Tony’s
at Dallas Cowboys training camp, and he left to change and pick Jessica
up. They went to dinner and she realized that she couldn’t handle
walking and breathing at the same time. So they laughed as Tony had to
lead her along like a retarded, busty child.Maybe you could counter-balance if you put down that ottoman you call a purse.Check out all 20 photos of Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo at training camp in the gallery!

By J. Harvey
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Comments (9)

  1. Sharifa | July 30, 2008 at 3:54 pm

    LOL. Great commentary!

  2. Dandy's girl | July 30, 2008 at 4:20 pm

    Oh, of course she can swallow. That’s why Romo is dating her. Zing!

  3. lady_of_the_house | July 30, 2008 at 5:06 pm

    OH FUCK!!!! I’m so close to peeing my pants right now! I Love you, J.Harvey!

  4. kaylina | July 30, 2008 at 9:07 pm

    oh my God why can’t she just be casual jeans and a tee …she looks so stupid in this dress she looks fat…only tall model like girls can get away with dresses like these she looks frumpy cause she’s short…i don’t think she looks that hot…carrie looked hotter when they caught her in hollywood hanging out and giving money to a homeless lady…jessica is so diva and nasty.and not that i’m tryin to compare but seriously what was tony romo think’n being with jess when he could have been with carie?…oh i get it now duh?? she swallows!! haha

  5. kaylina | July 30, 2008 at 9:09 pm

    oh my God why can’t she just be casual jeans and a tee …she looks so stupid in this dress she looks fat…only tall model like girls can get away with dresses like these she looks frumpy cause she’s short…i don’t think she looks that hot…carrie looked hotter when they caught her in hollywood hanging out and giving money to a homeless lady…jessica is so diva and nasty.and not that i’m tryin to compare but seriously what was tony romo think’n being with jess when he could have been with carie?…oh i get it now duh?? she swallows!! haha

  6. kaylina | July 30, 2008 at 9:10 pm

    oh my God why can’t she just be casual jeans and a tee …she looks so stupid in this dress she looks fat…only tall model like girls can get away with dresses like these she looks frumpy cause she’s short…i don’t think she looks that hot…carrie looked hotter when they caught her in hollywood hanging out and giving money to a homeless lady…jessica is so diva and nasty.and not that i’m tryin to compare but seriously what was tony romo think’n being with jess when he could have been with carie?…oh i get it now duh?? she swallows!! haha

  7. kaylina | July 30, 2008 at 9:12 pm

    oops…didn’t mean to do that

  8. kaylina | July 30, 2008 at 9:13 pm

    oops…i fucked up haha

  9. chizmoza | July 31, 2008 at 11:47 pm

    oh my gawd! it looks like she’s gonna trip! can’t she just wear an eight inch platform shoes to go with that dress? after all it wouldn’t make any difference…she still looks mentally challenged any other way you look it- oh, I get it! that’s why she’s holding Tony’s hand!

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