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This could only happen to Britney. This could actually help her win back the world to her side. As Kabbalah-following celebs like Madge, her beatdown husband, and Demi and Ashton hit Tel Aviv to ring in the Jewish New Year, a Palestinian terrorist leader has threatened to axe Madonna and Britney’s heads from their bodies. Jesus Christ! Gays unite! Protect our icons! Honestly, though, I think being headless wouldn’t faze Brit that much. It couldn’t make her any dumber.
Muhammad Abdel-Al, spokesperson and senior leader of Palestinian terror group the Popular Resistance Committees, warns the two pop superstars face death unless they change their evil ways, which includes acting like “prostitutes” to sell records.
In a new book, “Schmoozing with Terrorists: From Hollywood to the Holy Land Jihadists Reveal their Global Plans – to a Jew!” (fascinating), Abdel-Al rages: “If I meet these whores I will have the honour – I repeat, I will have the honour – to be the first one to cut the heads off Madonna and Britney Spears if they will keep spreading their satanic culture against Islam.”
Yeesh. His organization is reportedly responsible for several rocket attacks and bombings. What’s with the militant Islamic people judging everyone else and cutting off people’s heads and flying planes into buildings? Why you gotta be like that? Assholes. Can’t just go to the mosque and get on your prayer rug like the normal Islamic people and mind your damn business without killing several thousand people and threatening our pop stars? Fascist dickheads. Honestly, I’d like to see you take down Madge. Britney would be like “are you my new assistants” but Madge would use her inhuman old lady yoga skills or talk in that faux-British accent and annoy you so much that you’d put away your machetes and flee. Bring it!
More photos of the gang in Tel Aviv are after the jump.
green cardigan | September 14, 2007 at 9:34 am
Muhammad Abdel-Al, go East and don’t look back.
That photo of Mr.Madge sitting in the deckchair….I’d swear he has ankle socks and sandals on.
He looks like the village idiot, out for a day at the beach.
Darth Paul | September 14, 2007 at 9:35 am
Much as I hate extremists of any sort (Zionists and Crazy Christians, included), I have to say the world would be a less-crappy place w/these 2 out of the picture. Here’s hoping they make it look like an accident.
stuffs | September 14, 2007 at 9:38 am
SWEET, come kill spears that whore.. fuck that bitch….
T-Bone | September 14, 2007 at 9:43 am
If you people are joking about this world being a better places without Britney and Madonna and that the terrorists can feel free to cut off their heads —– fine, but if you really mean that — YOU ARE F*CKED UP!
NO ONE should be threatening free people in a free society — ESPECIALLY fundamentalist Islamic extremists. Seriously – check yourselves, because this threat isn’t all that funny.
T-Bone | September 14, 2007 at 9:45 am
Meant”place” — whoops…
green cardigan | September 14, 2007 at 10:03 am
Yes, where does this guy get off, threatening to kill people because he doesn’t agree with what they represent ?
Take a one way back home so.
What kills me is that a Western Christian woman cannot, under any circumstances, go to an Islamic country (say Iran) in her jeans and lipstick and walk into a church. Yet, the West has embraced the flood of Islamic people who have come over, and accommodated and accepted their religion.
MELISSA | September 14, 2007 at 10:07 am
YOU PEOPLE ARE REALLY SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
T-Bone | September 14, 2007 at 10:37 am
Typical Green. It’s interesting, because there are so many Islamic fundamentalists living in the United States and they HATE this country. HATE IT. Yet, in general, it’s a free society, so you’re allowed to hate. You’re also allowed to say whatever you want and practice whatever religion you want, and that’s ALL GOOD. I’m all for it. But the minute someone threatens someone else’s life, is the same minute they should be either jailed or tossed out of this country for good. BYE BYE! As for this idiot — this is the mindset that is slowly oozing it’s way into society. Frightening!
green cardigan | September 14, 2007 at 10:58 am
Exact same problem throughtout Europe , T-Bone. There are mosques in Christian towns, where they never were before, Europeans are bending over backwards to accept the differences in culture and religion, a lot of the time I think for fear of being seen as intolerant, and this is the consequence… Some asshole spouting off about Madge and Britney’s satanic ways.
T-Bone | September 14, 2007 at 11:15 am
Pisses me off, Green. This is the kind of mentality that slowly creeps into society and then BAM! Hitler all over again multiplied by a hundred thousand.
These extremists don’t get the fact that people need to be free to choose. FORCE DOES NOT equal true faith. No one should be forced to worship anything! If people come to Islam on their own — great. If people come to Christianity on their own — great. But force and/or manipulation of any kind is a true sign, in my opinion, that God is nowhere in the equation, and that MAN is asserting power and domination out of fear of losing control, money and power.
And I think you’re very right, Green, in that other countries are trying very hard to be tolerant, respectful and accepting of these differences, but the main question is this: is it MUTUAL tolerance, respect and acceptance or one- sided?
Britney | September 14, 2007 at 11:25 am
Okay, time for y’all to lighten up.
JHarvey, you are flipping brilliant – thanks for the laughs!
They should put you on CNN.
T-Bone | September 14, 2007 at 11:54 am
I promise to “lighten up” when one DEAD serious Muhammad Abdel-Al stops threatening to BEHEAD women for dressing a certain way. Until then, ah NO. This guy means what he says and has the means to carry out the task. As a female, BRITNEY, you should be outraged.
lola | September 14, 2007 at 12:26 pm
Man, what happened to the hotness that was Guy Ritchie? Keep this up and Madge will have to trade him in for a better model. Well, after she gets done paying that last installment on Baby David.
nisey | September 14, 2007 at 12:27 pm
So…He’s going to be the 1st to cut their heads off? Who’s second, K-Fed?
JT | September 14, 2007 at 12:37 pm
Okay, now I’m pissed. They left out Paris?!! Thanks alot you stupid terrorists!
stolidog | September 14, 2007 at 1:08 pm
well, i’d hardly call the christian right tolerant. blowing up clinics, shooting doctors, killing blacks, gays, and people perceived to be muslim, banning books, etc., etc…tolerance is a hard commodity to find nowadays.
T-Bone | September 14, 2007 at 1:17 pm
I believe the operative word here was “extremists”, Stolidog, and the argument was against anyone who forces any religion down any throat, if you’ll read again. The story, however, was about Muhammad Abdel-Al, who happens to be a jihadist, fundamental Islamic militant.
stolidog | September 14, 2007 at 1:28 pm
I would say that the christians who blow up planned parenthood clinics are kinda extremist, wouldn’t you T-Bone?
I was simply pointing out that there’s grotesque extremism in both Christianity and Islam.
I would also point out that the extremists in the Christian right are trying very, very hard to “force any religion down any throat” with their constant attempts to post religious doctrine in schools and courthouses.
I understood what the story was about, thanks.
green cardigan | September 14, 2007 at 1:37 pm
Oh God, I’m depressed now. The Christian right…thinking of Ireland in my teenage years…
Are there any more Colin Farrell pictures floating around there, to cheer me up?
stolidog | September 14, 2007 at 1:51 pm
Well, as the good reverend once said, We could all use more Colin in our lives.
I like this one (safe for work)
http://photobucket.com/mediadetail/?media=http%3A%2F%2Fi184.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fx55%2Fhkbtpic%2FSpecial%2520-%2520ColinF%2F32b6.jpg&searchTerm=colin%20farrell&pageOffset=17
Darth Paul | September 14, 2007 at 1:54 pm
T-Bone and Green need to check themselves. Douchebag terrorists come in every color and flavor, even good old whitebread American.
PROPS, Stolidog! You have a grasp on reality!!
Darth Paul | September 14, 2007 at 2:01 pm
Also, as a Jew, it’s EXTREMELY offensive to me for you to compare Islam and Nazism. They are 2 totally different items. Zionism, if anything, is the direct result of Nazism; not the other way around. Jews and Muslims lived in peace togther for centuries before nationalist Zionism took root and doomed Jews and Arabs alike.
Enough of my politics- Gotta say Guy Ritchie still looks GORGEOUS.
T-Bone | September 14, 2007 at 2:07 pm
WHO THE HELL ON THIS POST SAID THAT EXTREMISTS DON’T COME IN EVERY COLOR OR RELIGION?????? Are you actually reading what’s written or just throwing your 2 cents in on things you haven’t really read. Read the second paragraph of the 10th post and THEN comment, DARTHBAG. No one here is condoning ANY form of terrorism, but we’re not turning a blind eye to what’s out there either.
green cardigan | September 14, 2007 at 2:09 pm
stolidog – a little dose of Colin everyday, makes the world a better place! That’s a great photo, thanks.
Darth Paul – reread your first comment and recheck yourself.
T-Bone | September 14, 2007 at 2:19 pm
WEll Darth, that’s your opinion, and you’re entitled to it. But one would think as a JEW that you would be just slightly more offended at the Muslim extremists who want to kill you and yours in the name of JIHAD, than a couple of posts written out here. I know plenty of Jews who feel exactly the opposite of you.
Having said that — NO ONE HERE said anything about other religions not being capable of their own form of terrorism. So read first, then comment
stolidog | September 14, 2007 at 2:22 pm
Soooo. Do you think Madge used her new toy on Guy as a way to ring in the new year? He is looking a bit tired in these pics (but, still hot)
T-Bone | September 14, 2007 at 2:28 pm
And Darth – hoping for Islamic terrorists to slit the throats of American woman….that’s cool to you? That’s ok to you?
Interesting…if I recall you were also a supporter of Michael Vick and hoping that he’d play football again stating that he’s a darn good football player.
So really, your opinion matters very little to me at this point.
green cardigan | September 14, 2007 at 2:28 pm
stolidog – he certainly looks like he’s carrying himself with care there, walking along in the water….Happyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy New Year!
His hotness is a little hit and miss. He looks like a slab of roast beef in thesr photos:)
sassafrassy | September 14, 2007 at 3:53 pm
If Ashton Kutcher considers himself Jewish, shouldn’t he be wearing a yamika in the Holy Land on a holy holiday?
nastybugger | September 14, 2007 at 4:30 pm
sassafrassy (great name, BTW), just FYI, it’s “yarmulke”.
Fluffy | September 15, 2007 at 2:05 am
That is the funniest thing you’ve ever written… almost peed my pants!!!!