View the Gallery / 15 Photos »

Gay-ass country star Kenny Chesney (don’t even front that he’s not) is still freaked out from Renee Zellweger dumping his ass after finding out that he’s about the dudes. So he wrote a song about her. It’s called “That Squinty-Ass Bitch”…no, really it’s called “Nowhere to Go, Nowhere to Be.” Chesney said he was all sorts of effed up after their marriage broke up. So he took his ass down to the Virgin Islands to recuperate. And meet cabana boys.

“I got in a plane and went down to the Virgin Islands. I was completely by myself. I didn’t want to be around anybody,” tough bitch Chesney says. “So the
next thing you know, it’s me and a pen, and I sat down and wrote a lot
of lines of this song, ‘Nowhere to Go, Nowhere to Be.’”

Chesney says he’s over Zellweger and onto the next cowpoke.

“I already wrote those songs. I’m on to something else.” Yeah, his name’s Cody and he works as a go-go boy in a gay country & western bar.

Gay-ass country star Kenny Chesney (don’t even front that he’s not) is still freaked out from Renee Zellweger dumping his ass
after finding out that he’s about the dudes. So he wrote a song about
her. It’s called “That Squinty-Ass Bitch”…no, really it’s called
“Nowhere to Go, Nowhere to Be.” Chesney said he was all sorts of effed
up after their marriage broke up. So he took his ass down to the Virgin
Islands to recuperate. And meet cabana boys.”I got in a plane and went down to the Virgin Islands. I was completely by myself. I didn’t want to be around anybody,” tough bitch Chesney says. “So the
next thing you know, it’s me and a pen, and I sat down and wrote a lot
of lines of this song, ‘Nowhere to Go, Nowhere to Be.’”Chesney says he’s over Zellweger and onto the next cowpoke.”I
already wrote those songs. I’m on to something else.” Yeah, his name’s
Cody and he works as a go-go boy in a gay country & western bar.