In a shocking twist, Kevin Federline is pissed off that his lunch ticket dumped his talentless, herb-smoking ass. According to US Online, he penned some heartfelt poetry about his current sitch on the day after Britney made a break for it – Nov. 8. Foregoing beautiful parchment stationary, he used a Sharpie marker and the shower door of his dressing room at the House of Blues in Chi-town. This bitch is school on Sunday, no class at all. It read:

Today I’m a free man
Ladies look out
Fuck a wife
Give me my kids Bitch!

More on K-Fed’s scrawl after the jump.

Us Exclusive: K-Fed Communicates With Britney Through Shower Door [US Weekly]

Written by J. Harvey

Is that iambic pentameter? Ladies, you’d better heed his warning. You too could have an imbecilic jackass male future welfare momma on your couch, eating your Funions and hogging all the space on your DVR with repeats of WWE and BET’s 106 & Park.
He also signed off on it in the MIDDLE of the stanza. This guy is such a tool. He’s like the most hated man in America for turning Britney from hot blonde pinup to dumpy barefoot child-endangering Cheeto inhaler. Seriously, people would rather have O.J. marry their daughters or Pete Doherty get money out of the ATM for them then deal with this idjit. And he just keeps adding fuel to his fire. Did ya know they have to give away tickets to his shows? I weep for this Surreal Life future. He gets a dressing room? Seriously? There’s no changing in the alley out back? Then again, doesn’t Dan Ackroyd partially own the House of Blues or something? Now I get it. It’s like an Underground Railroad for has-beens. Oh, and I’m sure any judge would be THRILLED to award him total custody of French Fry and Ring Ding or whatever those kids are named. Hey kids, doesn’t this stripper I brought back from Vegas to be your new caregiver look a little like your Mom? Same stretch marks!