Nicole Kidman’s Face Compared To That Of A Bloodsucking Flying Rat

March 13th, 2008 // 8 Comments

Hey! Before you bitch at me, I didn’t say it! A “leading Canadian Botox expert” did. Dr. Martin Braun, a Botox pusher, says that Nicole Kidman is using too much of the stuff and it’s given her a “bat face” look. Ouch. That’s not cute.

Braun told the Australian cosmetic medicine conference that Nicole is obviously using the ‘Tox two to three weeks before an event. He says that this causes her to look “frozen and strange” and that she is “doing too much at the wrong time”. Braun went on to say that he believes she is getting bad medical advice, and she needs to inject rat poison into her visage at least two to three MONTHS before an event. That way, she can go to an awards show and her face will look slightly more normal.

The point is moot anyway, because it appears as if Nicole stopped using the rat poison when the test came back positive for baby. But seriously, imagine a conference panel entitled “Nicole Kidman Has Bat Face”? I’d skip my continental breakfast for that mess!

By J. Harvey

  1. marni

    My dermo dr ,located in Toronto,Canada,has been saying the same thing for years…he said he knew about Nicole as they get consulting calls from colleagues in the US…the other big offender he said is Renee Zwelleger (sp?)…

  2. T-Bone

    Hey! That bat is cute! Can’t say the same for the ladies pumping their faces full of crap.

  3. debkakes

    Actually, that is a fruit bat, and as is implied, it does not suck blood but eats fruit. Okay, I KNOW this is not a natural history site.

  4. anonymouse

    Mr. Dermo doctor seems to have too much free time on his hands, or too few patients.

  5. Ana

    She and her plastic surgeon should be both slowly and painfully killed for what they’ve done to her once beautiful face. Such a shame!

  6. Kind of reminds me of a Paul Simon song:

    He ducked back down the alley
    With some roly-poly little bat-faced girl

  7. lambman

    it kinda makes me sad from Batman Forever to Moulin Rouge she was the most beautiful woman in the world…now its all gone to hell. I wish she would have just aged gracefully like Meryl Streep

  8. Julia

    Nicole Kidman is beautiful in every way. Everyone leave her alone. You aren’t perfect so she doesn’t have to be. (even in my opinion she is)I think that age is not a crime to her in any way. She is still stunning and will always be godly to my eyes. Nicole is my role model(:Thanks Nicole for being you!(:

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