I know that I’m not supposed to enjoy the perpetuation of the image of women as catty, combative bitches, determined to pull each other’s hair out in the name of advancing their social status, but…it’s just too hard not to when these two do it. In the most recent chapter of the Collins vs. Evans saga, that began way back when on the set of “Dynasty” (both on and off-screen), Joan Collins is now claiming that she was left physically battered by Linda Evans after the on-stage altercations that took place during their performances in “Legends.” The play cast the two women as has-been actresses, forced to work together in the hopes of sparking a comeback.

“Joan ended the tour with a sprained knee, a scar on her hand and almost choked to death,” a rep for Collins told Page Six.

“Evans kicked Joan’s hand so hard that she now has a permanent scar and cannot wear a ring on her right hand. And she spent five weeks in therapy when Evans took it too far and allegedly pushed her off the stage.”

You know it’s serious business when an injury interferes with a woman’s ability to wear jewelry. Evans’ people, of course, cried foul at the implication that Linda was capable of such a bust-up.

Nonsense, says Evans’ manager, Mike Greenfield. “Joan Collins is the biggest [bleeping] sack of [bleep]. She’s the single most unprofessional actress working in Hollywood,” he told us. “Linda Evans hurting somebody? I find it unbelievable.”

Dang, I have to say, I wish one of those twiggy, bratty starlets would try to pull some shit on either one of these two chicas. Linda Evans would knock the freckles off Lindsay Lohan’s nose faster than she could text message “OMG this hag is so old…She almost looks 40″ to Paris Hilton in jail and still have time to enjoy a glass of “Crystal Light” while readjusting her shoulder pads.