Lindsay Lohan is officially an out of work actress, and really no different than your run-of-the-mill overdramatic Starbucks barista who can’t land a commercial. So what’s an underappreciated artist to do? Start a series of white trash public fights with your lesbian lover of course!

It’s all such a cliche.

Lindsay and Samantha Ronson are rumored to have split after terrorizing Miami over New Year’s. They left an awesome string of fight stories in their wake. There’s the one about Lindsay running out of Mansion and into an alley on New Year’s Eve night screaming to Samantha, “When I storm off, you are supposed to follow me!” 

This is why Samantha needs to date a butchie like herself. The femmes are too high maintenance.

Then there’s the classy hotel story where security was called after Lindsay and Samantha trashed their room.  

“Mirrors were broken and it was a complete mess…they were punching each other – it was bad…and they were doing this in front of all of us. It was scary.”

And of course we have the airline story to round-out the idyllic lover’s Miami getaway, where Lindsay was so shook they wanted to kick her off (and sell the story to OK!).

The Mirror is now saying Lindsay was seen “carrying a big bag out of their LA home.”

Sure it could be dry cleaning but here’s hoping these two are dunzo so Lindsay can go back to making men miserable and Samantha can move on.