(WENN)

Wow. For what I think is the first time, she’s not in the wrong in this one. Damn. What the hell am I supposed to do with this? In fact, it sounds like she’s the VICTIM! What use is faith anymore in a world as cold and desolate as this one? L.A. police have denounced an thievery allegation against Lohan as “bogus” and it’s been dropped . Probably because people realized she doesn’t have to steal and can afford her own shit since around about the time of the “Parent Trap” re-make. Or she can get it at a swag suite. Seven pairs of Ray-Bans! She doesn’t have seven pairs of eyes! She’s not a creature from Dungeons & Dragons!

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ that on April 16, a woman filed a police report claiming she had left California for a while and let a friend stay in her apartment. She says when she returned, more than $5,000 worth of stuff was gone and she believed Lindsay was the culprit.

The LAPD referred the case to the D.A. In the D.A.’s document rejecting the case, it says, “witnesses saw suspect Lohan give her driver … a clear bag with some clothing to take to the car.”

But there were several flies in the “victim’s” ointment. The D.A.’s office tells TMZ that pictures the alleged victim gave police showing Lindsay wearing her stuff didn’t add up. For example, the plaid shirt Lindsay wore in a photo didn’t match the alleged victim’s plaid shirt. More damning, witnesses told police the person who was watching the alleged victim’s apartment gave Lindsay some of the stuff, so there was no theft.

Cops: “Ma’am you said the shirt she took and was wearing that night had a unicorn on it. This picture clearly shows the shirt is plaid with no mythological creatures on it.”
Wackjob claiming Lindsay stole from her: “The unicorn is BEHIND THE PLAID! What is this? The Salem Witchcraft Trials? Fascists! She’s paid you all off with her drugs!”