(WENN)

OK, for serious this time, guys. She says that she’s really going to cool her jets with the clubbing and all. And now she, like, totally means it! For reals. I mean, that’s what she told Allure. And everyone knows that lying to a beauty magazine would cause said liar to be cursed with large pores and saddlebags, so it must be true.

“Everybody’s tired of hearing things about me and them, (Hilton and Spears), so I think it’s just better for me to lie low and get better.”

And as for rehab, Lindsay’s actually surprised she even went.

“I always said I would die before I went to rehab.”

I think she confused rehab with the morgue. Simple mistake. Sometimes I get confused and think it’s the name of the latest club on the Sunset Strip. With a rotating door.