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Yeah, so clearly, I’m writing this post from jail. Kidding! I’m way too lazy to stalk that woman. Did you know Lindsay Lohan spent 14 hours in Miami the other day before jetting back to L.A.? Trailing her skinny, freckled behind is way more effort than it’s worth.

Just outside of a club in Scottsdale, Arizona, Lindsay’s male stalker lunged at the actress, who was accompanying her DJ girlfriend after spending the evening spinning for a gig.

The owner of the club Dan Wierck told press, “The gentleman became very excited when he realized he was so close to Samantha, and he has a history of being a stalker with Lindsay Lohan, so he immediately attacked her and started yelling ‘I love her, I love her.’ “

And that man was Jeremy Piven. Ha! Wouldn’t that be awesome if it were?

Click any photo to view all 10+ photos of Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson in the gallery!

Yeah, so clearly, I’m writing this post from jail. Kidding! I’m way too lazy to stalk that woman. Did you know Lindsay Lohan spent 14 hours in Miami the other day before jetting back to L.A.? Trailing her skinny, freckled behind is way more effort than it’s worth.

Just outside of a club in Scottsdale, Arizona, Lindsay’s male stalker
lunged at the actress, who was accompanying her DJ girlfriend after
spending the evening spinning for a gig.

The owner of the club Dan Wierck told press,
“The gentleman became very excited when he realized he was so close to
Samantha, and he has a history of being a stalker with Lindsay Lohan,
so he immediately attacked her and started yelling ‘I love her, I love
her.’ ”

And that man was Jeremy Piven. Ha! Wouldn’t that be awesome if it were?Check out all 10+ photos of Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson in the gallery!