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So You Think You Can Dance judge, Mary Murphy, really bared her soul in an interview with talk show host, Ellen DeGeneres. The famously perky dance aficionado confessed a troubled past to the blond comedian.

Murphy discussed her recent Us Weekly cover, in which she details surviving domestic violence and rape during the nine years of her marriage to her ex-husband. Mary described the escalation from verbal abuse into physical altercations that required police intervention

In her emotional confession, Mary tells Ellen, “I was in such disbelief because when this is happening to you, and when you love somebody, it’s just so horrific because it’s like having an out-of-body experience because this just can’t be happening. This is my knight in shining armor.”

Mary explained her inability to leave for so many years, even when her husband was out of the country as being subject to “an electric fence, mentally.” During her interview with Larry King, the dance judge said, “I still had no intention to talk to anybody until I saw Rihanna‘s face and seeing that just brought it all up….Abuse, it just survives and thrives in silence.”