After a recent jellyfish attack while on vacation in Majorca, Spain, Michael Douglas joked about having his son pee on his back to help with the pain of the sting.

Douglas explained, “I took my kids down to the ocean the other day and we had a little problem – we have jellyfish. I got stung actually pretty bad, across my back just last week. There’s sort of a remedy that we’ve all heard…urine. It’s the remedy if you have a bad sting.

“So I asked my five-year-old son if he would pee-pee on my back. He looked at me like he’d gone to heaven. He was like ‘This is what I call a good summer holiday! Pee-pee on daddy’s back!’ I don’t know if it helped at all, but my son was happy. We’ll work it out in 20 years (when he’s in therapy)!”

I think Michael Douglas has the right idea here. I mean, I was always under the impression that the whole point of having children was so that you could bioengineer people who would do whatever you want. Like your own mini-cult. I like to feel it’s paying rent for all the months spent in my uterus.

In other news, R.Kelly goes out and buys a bunch of jellyfish.

Son Urinates on Michael Douglas Following Jellyfish Attack [Starpulse]