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At least once a week we’d love for you to lose your breakfast to one of our headlines. We’re hoping this will fulfill our 7-day quota, and if not then just keep on reading. We have high hopes for this one.

The National Enquirer is reporting today that none other than OctoMom Nadya Suleman was once a topless dancer at a local gentleman’s club. She (foolishly) told a “close friend” that at 19 she was curious about the seedy strip world and decided to taker her chances and peel off her Wal-Mart brand lingerie for strangers.

However, it was a short-lived gig. She quit after the first night when she found out she was expected to perform lap dances. She was young and stupid, and admits she was in an “investigative” period of her life and had never even kissed a boy.

There’s gotta be an OctoMom fetish out there somewhere. There’s got to be a market for massive stretch marks that only this could cause. Perhaps she should dig out that old g-string and make a cameo.

Gallery Info: Nadya Suleman goes shopping at Toys R Us.