In addition to the fact that I think it’s absolutely horrible, the trauma that this psychopath has inflicted upon both his victims, as well as their friends and family, he’s also ruined orange juice for me forever. And that, quite frankly, pisses me off. At least, though, O.J. Simpson’s recent attempt at capitalizing on his “hypothetical” tale of murder has been shut down by the courts. Yahoo! reports:

A judge on Tuesday prevented O.J. Simpson from receiving any further compensation from a canceled book deal and TV interview, and ordered the bundled book rights to be auctioned off.

Seriously, I don’t know that there’s a single O.J. joke that I could possibly squeeze (all puns intended) from this situation, that hasn’t already been done before, so rather than take a stab (I’m so sorry) at something that will probably end up being marginally funny, I’m just going to let you fill in the blanks. Think of it as celebrity gossip MadLibs.