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Not to put a damper on this post from the very beginning, but I am having a lot of trouble believing that Paris Hilton has ever even touched a shopping cart in her life, unless it was for a reality show. That said, the National Enquirer has produced some of my very favorite works of fiction. The tab reports that Paris recently had a run-in with an elderly woman at a market in Beverly Hills. It seems that Paris was trying to get some shopping done, when an older woman didn’t hear Paris’ requests for her to move her cart.

Paris rammed her cart into her opponent’s and shrieked, “That’s what you get for being rude and blocking the aisle!” Stunned, the addled dame yelled, “You’re the one who’s rude, slamming me with your cart!” The manager came running, recognized the elderly slam-ee as a regular, and firmly told Paris to shop elsewhere if she couldn’t act polite and respectful.

The thing about this story is that you’d have to suspend your disbelief at the concept of Paris actually purchasing food in order to enjoy it.