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Season five of Bravo’s The Real Housewives Of Orange County premieres November 5th, and cast member Gretchen Rossi doesn’t want you to forget it.  Wearing nothing more than ass shorts and a tied-up flannel shirt, Rossi toted her boyfriend, Housewives alum Slade Smiley to a West Hollywood pumpkin patch.  It takes nothing more than a bunch of pumpkins to put Slade and Jo Lori Gretchen in the mood.  I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Dear Gretchen, we acknowledge that the results of your California livin’ are a success.  And yes, we’re a tad bit jealous (read: really) of your tanned/toned legs.  However, the pumpkin patch is a family place.  So we ask that the next time you want to go out in public dressed in, well, nothing, you select a more appropriate location.  Somewhere like a truck stop or Hooters.  In the meantime, put some pants on.

Somewhere in Hollywood Spencer and Heidi are shaking their fists in anger. Have they been replaced? Are Gretchen and Slade the poor man’s Speidi? Should Heidi use the entire bottle of foundation rather than half at the next photo op? 

Gallery Info: Gretchen Rossi and Slade Smiley posing for the camera in West Hollywood.