Prettyboy Fight

August 17th, 2007 // 18 Comments

I say we get a vat of mud, put em’ both in thongs and let em go at it! Yeah, I took it there, it’s Friday. Ryan Phillipe took some time off from being a glistening sex cherub to bitch about Jake Gyllenhaal mackin’ on his lady. Uh dumbass, maybe you shouldn’t have been firing semen bullets at another chick’s vaginal gun range if that was going to be a problem for you. Pretty people can be imbeciles.

“Ryan is pissed about Jake,” a Phillippe insider tells Us Weekly, adding that Phillippe, 32, told Witherspoon, 31, “he didn’t want ‘that guy’ around their kids [son Deacon, 3, and daughter Ava, 7] and then made some crude Brokeback Mountain remark.”

However, a Gyllenspoon source tells Us that “Reese doesn’t have Jake spend the night when the kids are around.” And though the actor may be angry that Witherspoon is moving on, his feelings for Aussie actress Abbie Cornish, 25, are less conflicted.

Sources say that Philllpe is hanging out with Cornish Game Hen, including a walk through the park on August 5. Don’t even tell me he was making fag jokes about Jakey G. I mean, yeah, Jakey G. is obviously no stranger to penis. But if I may get personal here. Way back when I was coming out, Phillipe played the gay teenager on “One Life to Life” and he was struggling with being into man ass. As was I! And I thought, well if the fictional residents of the town of Llanview can still love Billy, then my family and friends can still love me! Which they do, until I speak or drink. But still – how dare he wreck my beautiful coming out story by showing himself as an insecure homophobe as well as a lying ass cheat! Reese and I are gonna need to roll up on him with our fists! Who would ever have thought I would be in shovelmouth Reese’s corner? It’s so Friday.

More Photos of the Family After the Jump

By J. Harvey
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Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon on April 18, 2009 | MTV Photo ...
Watch out Jake Gyllenhaal - Reese Witherspoon could be stalking you on Facebook
Further proof that famous people are just like us. Oh, apart from the whole fame, millions in the bank, designer dresses thing... Ex-boyfriend stalking on Facebook is one of those great universal facts of life that we all know about, but no one actually ...
Reese Witherspoon stalks her exes on Facebook (watch out Jake Gyllenhaal)
Ex-boyfriend stalking on Facebook is one of those great universal facts of life that we all know about, but no one actually admits to. A bit like fancying Joey Essex (oh come on, you do). Well, it was, UNTIL NOW. The great and glorious Reese Witherspoon ...

Comments (18)

  1. whateva | August 17, 2007 at 3:46 pm

    this picture is so perfect for it too. they look like they are sporting some bone while dirty talking. haha coincidence harvey?

  2. lookwhaticando | August 17, 2007 at 3:56 pm

    whateva what are you a HO bag or something. you disgusting bag of sh*t

  3. T-Bone | August 17, 2007 at 3:58 pm

    I love Ryan and am glad he left Reese, I hear he does not like blacks and nor do I. So I love him

  4. 2 Old 4 This | August 17, 2007 at 4:06 pm

    hmmmmm let me check my calendar

    Oh yes – It’s Hateful Friday!

    How did I miss that? Lighten up trolls

  5. jesse d | August 17, 2007 at 4:42 pm

    Ahhhhh I can smell the ignorance in the air…
    Jesus. I was being lectured about “dog hating” by a racist pig. Figures.

  6. krystyn | August 17, 2007 at 4:43 pm

    well, I just wanna say that I remember that story line!!!! LMAO

  7. Clarisse | August 17, 2007 at 4:43 pm

    If they ever did “fight” it would just be hair pulling and slapping!

  8. T-Bone | August 17, 2007 at 4:46 pm

    2 Old 4 This said:
    hmmmmm let me check my calendar

    Oh yes – It’s Hateful Friday!

    How did I miss that? Lighten up trolls

    ==========================
    Go screw yourself crack head, you are probably a Nig too,

  9. Clarisse | August 17, 2007 at 5:02 pm

    2 Old 4 This,

    That isn’t the real T-bone. Just a troll trying to start trouble. It’s a runaway from http://www.JustJolie.

    She skipped her meds today.

  10. THE REAL T-BONE | August 17, 2007 at 5:04 pm

    lookwhaticando — grow the f up or you’re going to get banned from this site for a second or third time.

  11. THE REAL T-BONE | August 17, 2007 at 5:06 pm

    P.S. Thanks Clarisse;)

  12. Joe Funtime | August 17, 2007 at 5:12 pm

    Ryan just wants Jake all to himself. We’ve all been there– when our Oscar-winning ex-wife is doing the man of our dreams. It hurts. Hurts.

  13. T-Bone too | August 17, 2007 at 7:20 pm

    weird conversation on this site

  14. Aeol | August 18, 2007 at 10:53 am

    I can’t even be amused by this story. All lame attempts at trying to convince the public Jake G likes to have sex with girls are so 2004.

  15. JJ | August 18, 2007 at 10:06 pm

    OMG I love Ryan Phillippe.

    I truly believe Reese Witherspoon is a satanic lawn gnome.

  16. g | August 19, 2007 at 3:15 am

    Amen! that ryan creature can suck it! he cheated so its curtains to him

  17. Heath | August 19, 2007 at 10:13 pm

    Jake would much rather go fishing with Ryan then anywhere with Reese Witherspoon.

    Is anyone buying a ticket to Rendition because of this sham?

  18. Zekers | August 20, 2007 at 7:57 am

    So is the wild poster from Borneo gone now?
    Anyway…Reese and Ryan certainly made a couple of beautiful children! I hope they find their happy place, where or whoever that may be, for the kids sake.

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