Jessica Smith, formerly of “Laguna Beach”, pled guilty to a misdemeanor drunk driving charge yesterday. She smashed her ride into an Acura on March 27 and injured some people. Bitch was wasted.

The 19-year-old Smith, a first-time offender, was sentenced to three years informal probation and ordered to perform 80 hours of community service and pay $1,300 in fines, penalties and fees.

Apparently she didn’t read Paris’ MySpace page urging us all not to get behind the wheel after sinking a few. This chick could drive over my face, back up and drive over my face again and I still wouldn’t know who she was. That didn’t make much sense but the point I’m trying to get across is that I found the concept of “Laguna Beach” unappealing and avoided watching it. “My Super Sweet Sixteen” is a little more real, and inspires much more hatred than scripted drama. I like my spoiled bitches young and in tiaras and throwing tantrums about Daddy buying the wrong color Lexus.