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America is on the mend.  Companies are slowly crawling out of financial ruin, people are starting to stand up on their own two feet, and yet Hollywood expects us to take the money we’ve earned back and stick it in a shredder.  If you thought sniffing glue was a bad idea, then prepare yourselves.  Spencer and Heidi Pratt are releasing their very first book, How To Be Famous.  Why?  Because you want to be just like them, that’s why.  You want people to hate you.  You want to say stupid things and fall victim to delusion.  You want your every action ridiculed and you want to be ignored for simply being you.

Making the publicity rounds to squeeze every last dollar out their “book”, Speidi sat down with Playboy for a meeting of the minds.

“As self-proclaimed experts on the subject, ‘Speidi’ dishes out advice
on ‘looking the part, playing the press and becoming a tabloid
fixture.’ The platinum pair offers up such nuggets of wisdom as ‘remember that every little fight with the person you’re dating should
become a headline’ and ‘having a conscience is for losers.’ Social
strategies and roles are named after the celebrities who inspired them:
Moving through increasingly famous dating partners for the purpose of
upping your Hollywood stature is dubbed ‘The Jennifer Garner Approach,’
and boring, sweet girls who get dumped for exciting bad girls are ‘Jennifer Anistons.’ (Heidi strongly advises against being a Jennifer
Aniston because ‘bitches get the guy.’) All of this may sound
ludicrous, and, it is. Be that as it may, Speidi is laughing all the
way to the bank.”

Choice selection from the interview:

PLAYBOY: Overall the book has a light-hearted tone and
you guys seem to be poking fun at yourselves. Did you have some laughs
at your own expense when you were writing it?
SPEIDI: One of the points we make in the book is that
you have to take your job of being famous seriously, but you can’t take
yourself seriously. People who can’t laugh at themselves make for lousy
people and even worse celebrities.

Please don’t buy this book. Spend the money on something more sensible, like a wheel of cheese or batteries.
 
Gallery Info:  Spencer and Heidi Pratt frolic on the beach in Los Angeles to promote their book, How To Be Famous.