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Please thank whatever religious deity you believe in for me because Spencer Pratt has announced that he does not want children. Us Weekly reports that Spencer told MTV News that if his wife Heidi Montag got pregnant, divorce would be in their near future. “I told her there’s a divorce or adoption,” he says. “If she’s not down with the adoption, I think it’s divorce.”

Are you ready for the actually kind of adult reason as to why Spencer does not want kids? “I’m a baby. I’m not prepared,” he says. “And I’m not sure the world wants a Spencer Pratt spawn.” I know! He’s trying to save us. Who thought that Spencer would do something good for humanity? Now as long as he does not become the king of America, I think we’re good, right?

Heidi on the other hand is totally baby ready. As Spencer put it, she is “trying to have a baby like it’s going to buy a new pair of Louis Vuittons.” I guess Heidi wants them babies. “I think I was born ready. I’m very maternal. I’m very loving. I would be the best mom ever. [He feels] not quite the same, but maybe he just doesn’t know he wants kids yet. I think he never wants kids, but maybe I’ll have a surprise for him.”

I bet once Spencer realizes the amount of money and whorish attention a baby will bring him, he’ll totally jump on the bandwagon. Cause you know, once Heidi becomes the next Michael Jackson, he’ll need someone else to make uber famous. Yah, go with the not having kids thing.

Gallery Info: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt embrace their parental side at Kitson Kids boutique.