The fact that nobody seems to have seen TomKat’s baby, Suri, leads me to believe any number of things. Perhaps this is simply a celebrity couple, very protective of their young, innocent child from the media and are therefore now fiercely guarding her identity. Or maybe it’s a wacky alien love-child, being held captive by a crazy, celebrity cult in some strange kind of baby-prison.

Since it’s always more fun to speculate than be sensible, I’m going to go with the baby-prison theory and throw in a quote from US Weekly for good measure:

Us, in a three-page spread, says a couple of Telluride locals have reported Suri spottings, including a clerk at a natural-goods store, who said Suri is “funny looking.”

Here are some more articles about the elusive Suri and her parents:

Suri’s Mysterious Birth Certificate [TMZ]
Katie Holmes Says Suri Is Doing Great [TMZ]
Katie’s Parents Boycott Scientology Wedding [The Scoop]